Scraps of paper lie about
my brain as I scribble idle
mental thoughts about
how best to work on
improving diet or finances
or the lack of relations I
have with pretty much all
of my family--even the ones
who are actually in-town,
not more than a five minute
drive during the busiest time
of the day, but they're less
actual notes and more like
virtual Post-Its I'm just going
to let hang about until the
glue finally dries and they
drop away like forgotten
champagne bubbles at
five seconds past midnight.
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An appropriate meander
to the temporal silliness of New Year's resolutions. Your writing is very compact and flows so well. I think you have a great feel for natural, conversational writing. I'd like to see a smattering of more imagery but that's me. All in all it's a really well-written poem, an effective poem imho, :-)more...
The first two lines are really interesting to me because of the double meaning of "lie". I like the contrast of a frantic scribble and idle thoughts too. The way you have broken up the stanzas gives this a run on, stream of consciousness quality that works well. Repetition of the word "about" reinforces that, and gives it almost a spoken word quality when read aloud (I am not expert, just my opinion). The last stanza ties it all back to the title, but in a really subtle way, evoking new year's eve and those pesky resolutions. Really like this.more...
A NEW DAY BEGUN
with more babble to add. TK U MLJ LV NV
Have I seen this one before?
The last stanza seems familiar
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