- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Risen
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
I find myself awakening after many years of sleep
I drowned myself in sorrow in a hole I dug too deep
Now it's time for me to rise and look up to the sun
Let the heat rain down on me while I forget all that I've done.
I've cleaned the mess behind you and my life is free and clear
It's been many months now since I've shed a single tear.
I pull the blinds open and let my shadow run and hide
Never to return again I'm sure as the old me has died.
The door is open wide now ready for step outside
I'll start with a single step, then two, and hopefully find my stride.
I'll leave the past behind me exactly where it should remain
Taking with it memories of you, along with all the pain.
- COMMENTS
bflagsstabout 15 years agoYou're attempting simple meter, which isn't as simple as it seems. You should start by counting your syllables and reading it to yourself out loud, because your beat is all over the place. too many words and not enough breaks. Once you've gotten your beat down you might wanna address the simplicity of your language. Poetry is pretty much just saying something simple/old in a new, usually complex, way. Usually I'd say drop the meter and say what you want to say and work on saying something new in less restricted format. But now that I think back I probably started in meter. A poem with excellent meter is easier to read than a free-verse cliche ridden one.
