- Non-Erotic Poetry
- ritual
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Click herei remove my shoes, my socks
and lay them at the foot of the stairs
before i walk into our dining room
across the field of broken crockery
so that in any case my feet
can feel the pain behind your anger
and though i cannot weep, i'll bleed
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 16 years agoTo discover this morning. agree with the others, but I also like the 'broken crockery'. Visual yet more. Funny, but not so funny.
foehn2over 16 years agoA most excellent 7-line poem. Unified in tone, building to a crescendo, and one can't argue with it. Without sentimentality, letting the reader know that the character in the poem feels, wants to feel, and is willing to feel, for the sake of a love. A few words stuck out for me: the word "field" I thought was a very interesting way to describe a floor strewn with broken ceramic pieces. That heightened the emotional impact of the poem for me. "In any case" was a phrase that started making the crescendo work; and "i'll bleed," the ending two words, deliver the final punch that lets one know what it's about. So well done.
KOLKOREover 16 years agoThe one I liked most so far (one of the benefits of on line poetry -varied crowd).The transformation of the meaning of the ritual of taking of shows is internal but it also echoes of a painful walk as a religious ritual. What I like most though is that it comes from very familiar observations (in good way) about couples life, then amplify the emotions around them - you can't quite walk back to your bedroom the same way...
