Rushing

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83 words
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Tied in knots
Bound to you by destiny
My whole being craves
your attention

A subtle dance
we’ve now begun
slow, graceful
easy and sensuous

Minute motions
touches brief, sweet
and I’m aflame
with desire

my body screams
my heart says no
I want to rush
you hold it together

you’re bringing out
parts of me
I didn’t know existed
the power amazes me

I rush again
Only to take it slow
To make it last
This will be one
To remember

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IcingsugarIcingsugarabout 20 years ago
You have a knack

For powerful lines,

"I want to rush, you hold it together"

is one of them. Strong, and emotional and on the safe side from clich?s that could make it corny. I see them now and then in your poems, but they are too few and too far apart to hold the pieces together. You could distill your writing and use that kind of subtle but not too subtle imagery a bit more, to achieve something really good here. Keep em coming.

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