- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Sacred Ground
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Click heregarden of souls-
where spirits gather
in voices that carry.
eternal-
everlasting-
suitors of a calling
is the word
that comes alive
like a preacher
leaving seeds of discovery.
cultivators of thee parable
brings the crop to maturity.
thus-
our resting place.
- COMMENTS
jd4georgeover 19 years agowould make this piece sing. I'd like to suggest you drop all the hyphen/dashes and a few words, here and there. Consider the following possibility:
garden of souls
where spirits gather
in voices everlasting
suitors of a calling
the word that comes alive
like a preacher
leaving seeds of discovery
cultivators of thee parable
brings the crop to maturity
our resting place
Regardless, there is something plaintive in this that intrigues me.
twelveooneover 19 years agoGood, needs a little tightining up, one suggestion, check thesaurus for suitor
