- Erotic Poetry
- She Arrived, I Came.
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Click hereeffervescent goose pimples, erect hairs, nipples
fizzing-shimmery sensation slipping in
with buttered fingers, sticky lips
tripping tongue across my slit
triggering wicked tickles
Woh,oh,OOOHHHH!!!
(This is just a little erotic fun guys. It arose, aroused, from exercising my euphony bone...got a little overexcited *blushing*)
- COMMENTS
GuiltyPleasureabout 13 years ago...last line could go. The rest, as you've said, is very spontaneous. Try "butterY" instead of "butterED" for the aliteration and the image....shades of Last Tango. Nicely formed too.
Tess
Angelineabout 13 years agoabout 25 more of these for the erotic chapbook. Excellent but only in the context of other poems like it, imo
twelveooneabout 13 years agonever write when excited, the flow (pardon) is ok, yes some nice alliteration, but shows serious lack of thought, planning, editing.
5
