- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Shudder Bug
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Click hereShe sent me a picture of a New England sunset
via her cell phone.
" Thinking of you"
I was listening to Mahalia Jackson
" In The Upper Room".
The image was a tarnished nickle moon shot through
a back lit bruised plum sky,
and a smoke stack,
spewing frozen white steam,
arching up,with selfish intent.
I could see the connection.
I went back to the upper room
with Jesus.
I let Mahalia bathe me in a forgiveness
that the photographer never will.
- COMMENTS
annaswirlsover 17 years agobeautiful, really.... just a comment of personal preference -- consider using italics instead of quotes, especially in a piece like this, the italics are softer, and might give your verse a more musical quality.
GuiltyPleasureover 17 years ago....title and poem to match. I really like them both.
Tess
sackover 17 years agoPossibly, but the vagueness at the end gives the poem a "never ending" quality. There is a bittersweet quality throughout...she may be an old flame of sorts, or he may have cheated on her, there are a number of possibilities. Excellent word choice and thanks for sharing this with lit.
LeBrozover 17 years agoLast two lines make it wonderful
Leaving the reader to fill in the blanks
And interpret it for himself.
duckiesmutover 17 years agoI've read this three times, and I think would need to read it at least three more before I could leave a suitable comment. That said, the tone of this was inspiring, and I'm glad I decided to read the new poems this morning, even if this was the only one posted.
The spaces before the quotation marks in the third and fifth sentence could drive a punctuation mark person crazy, though. :)
Thanks for sharing.
