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Click hereAnd now I wait. A verdict is to come.
I've done her wrong, she says. I dare not act,
And frozen by my love for her, I'm numb
And terrified. My only play is tact,
To be contrite, but not to appear weak
Of heart. It's confidence I need to show.
I think I've done no wrong. She will not speak
Of what she thinks I am, She wants to know
Who uses words like that if not to hurt,
She says that love requires hearts be pure.
One cannot shed one's feelings like a shirt,
And fall for other's words meant to allure.
I heard a siren's song and turned my head.
That turning's now the consequence I dread.
I loved this piece! It really looks like you worked it carefully. What I very freely call the syncopation of the rhythm (what both Angeline and LeBroz referred to as enjambment) fits so well to the atmosphere of uncertain relations.
You've progressed quite well in your work with the form. You've put substance in {compared to sonnet 1} yet kept true to the form and, as Angeline notes, worked well with your enjambment.
You've really worked the theme well through the limits of the form. I especially like the way you make enjambment work for you (rather than ending every sentence on a line, which creates a sing-songy feel).
Your poem has been recommended in the New Poems Reviews thread on Literotica's Poetry Feedback and Discussion forum. Thanks for the read!