Steps to a fall

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Heat
Burning up my skin
Peeling away the layers of pain

Agony
Losing all the walls
Being laid bare under your gaze

Gasping
Is this what you win?
Driving me insane

Shakes
To you my body calls
Kisses trail a blaze

Burning
Melting benieth your fingertips
A blush growing red

Submission
Layer by layer love
My clothes, my guard

Surrender
Craving now the touch of your lips
Laying down on my bed

Nerves
As you place me above
My body is marred

Movement
Swift and sure
I watch your face

Panting
Your breath mingled with mine
Groaning curses

Faster
Cracking composure
Pick up the pace

Breaking
Lets cross that line
Pleas like verses

Finish
Vunerable and bare
Secure against your chest

My Love
I try not to stare
My one, my only, the best

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1 Comments
Maria2394Maria2394over 12 years ago
the ideas

in your work are interesting. I did find a couple of misspelled word- "benieth"----Melting benieth your fingertips. and "vunerable"--Vunerable and bare

One phrase i n particular caught my eye, I loved this-

<i>Kisses trail a blaze</i>

There is a lot to like in this work, but, it could use some more work. I would suggest dropping some gerunds and making the poem more active. Active poems engage the reader more so than passive ones. A bit more work on this and you will have a fine poem :)

Always use spell check, but sometimes, depending on the context, even spell check does not catch everything. Keep writing, that is the only way to improve!

enjoyed the read-

~ maria

ps, i did not vote because the poem feels unpolished and I did not want to be unfair.