- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Sun setting
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I’m sitting, contemplating,
the setting of the sun
like one’s that came before it
and those still yet to come
each share a certain likeness
though with many variations
the hues, the blues, evening dews
the clouds subtle striations
the harsh orb meets horizon
to take it’s final bow
I see days past more clearly
as darkness soothes my brow
I kiss the stars one last time
weary yet embracing night
no more sunsets, no more dawns
to rest in peace, forego the fight
- COMMENTS
dcpoet44over 18 years agothat has been written about much, but yet you do a very nice job in handling it. i too like the 3rd stanza......nicely done......don
TheRainManover 18 years agoThis is tighter than your other poem above, and has the feeling of melancholy I think you tried to write into it. Suicide is a hard thing to write about without going astray somewhere. It is not easy to keep a proper separation from the words as a writer must. It seems you like internal rhyme, but here i think you should reconsider, since it doesn't seem to jive with the theme and may give some readers a soothing feeling that will hide what you are truly writing about.
Edits:
No comma needed, I don't think, after 'contemplating.'
one's = ones
clouds = clouds'
it's = its
Anonymousover 18 years agothis verse grabs the mind with a multitude of images...ty...blue
the harsh orb meets horizon
to take it’s final bow
I see days past more clearly
as darkness soothes my brow
sackover 18 years agoand all the better for it! Thanks for sharing!
