Surviving...

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"Surviving…"

Some choices are hard -
not to make, but
to live with.

My head is pounding away at this moment
and being focused is a real – well you know.
Another poet spoke of "Survivors" and
did it in a way that I began to freefall –
it isn't right for me to do that
within another's space
so I came to here – my own blank page.

and
see
people, places, things…
embedded in this white space
leaking out in all the colors of a rainbow.

We live our lives making
choices
conscious or not
knowingly or not
willfully or not.
Lot of nots – and knots
we get left with – inside
to look back on -
to dream of with open eyes
as we sit staring at a white page
filled with all the colors of a rainbow
leaking people, places, things -
we knew, or left, or wished, or touched,
or ever had or never had
or never will.

…and its not always with regret
that the eyes mist up -
some choices you have to make
you HAVE to make just the way
you did… because you loved someone
more than they knew or believed
and letting them go, or letting go
was the ONLY way they could live…
survive… be…

I can cry just because I knew you –
its allowed… and I can miss you…
and I can love you today
as much as all the yesterdays
and I'd still let you go…
because I had to – HAD to,
not wanted to… and you survived,
awesomely hon, and me – well
I still walk as ever
filling lots of white pages
with the colors of rainbows
leaking from the tears inside.

Chris
Ancient117331
05/29/2008

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