Tainted

A youthful glow on a pale face,
lightly sprinkled with freckles.
A trait from him she once admired
she plastered with foundation.
No evidence of a relation.

The only person she could rely on
(she thought) saw her on occasion.
She loved her dad but knew it best;
he was controlled by his illness.
There had been a time she thought
she saw parts of him peeking out
through invaded eyes in desperation.
Pleading, please don't remember me like this.

Yet through the silence she had to conclude,
there's a screen between innocence and shame.
A single moment blurred by time;
lost in the transition of fairy tales to SATs.

The four year old who was told
there was no Santa, no Easter Bunny,
realizes ten years later
she doesn't appreciate honesty.
The truth the drugs evoked
tarnished the girl she should have been.
Instead she was launched off course
alone in a torrent of self obligation.

The fourteen year old is now a wreck,
worn out by the lifetime
of 'acting mature for her age'.
She sees what he caused;
it was driven by selfishness
and the addiction he let
ruin their relationship.
Too young to endure the stress,
she resents this coiling mess.
Tainted.