- Erotic Poetry
- That Place
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That Place
He walks past every day
looking but not seeing,
wanting but not knowing
searching with veiled curiosity.
He asks himself the question
he has asked many times before
What is it, what is 'that place'?
The walls thick, windows barred
the whimpers from within.
What is it, he really needs to learn.
The voices heard enticing
with pleasure in thier pain
What is it,what is 'that place'?
With a sudden rush of courage
he raps hard on the door
waits trembling on the quiet front steps.
It appears as though time stands still
leaving him frozen,
a shadowy silhouette
painted on the wall.
In a lightning bolt of movement
the front door swings open
he gasps,
his hands protecting his very frightened face.
Too late he hears the click,
the sound of something locking,
a thick band of steel across his neck.
Next a chain is visible,
one that leads him through the entrance,
his cries all but swallowed in 'that place'.
Suddenly he's kneeling,
fear filled eyes searching,
a sheen of sweat dripping
from his tangled mane of hair.
He feels the tug and stares up ,
at a man whose worth respecting,
he hears the voice,
but never sees him smile.
Welcome to the dungeon boy
welcome to my haven.
There are no more questions,
he now has all his answers,
his future , his future was
'that place'.
j.b
- COMMENTS
rikaaimover 16 years agoI like where you're going with this poem. The whisp of feeling into a tangible reality is strong. I think a few of the phrases artistically bring into focus what you're trying to convey, but the ending could be tightend up a bit for better impact. It's not so much the last stanza that needs to be changed, but things seemed to take a strolling journey into an abrupt ending out of nowhere. I think a bit more teasing by building up the last couple stanzas would leave the reader a bit more fulfilled.
