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Click hereThe supple planes of her back
Pressed boldly against the cool wall.
The shock of cold making her tense,
Steam making the air dense.
Her body flawless like a porcelain doll.
Water cascades down in scolding rivulets.
The stark contrast to her pale luminescence,
Her molten copper hair aglow
Ruby blood on iridescent snow.
Soft silver cross, her symbolic presence.
Diamond drops glitter on her lashes.
Down through her bottomless eyes
Of ice blue and golden kissed
Black abyss and dark mist
Behind the pleasant mask constructed from lies.
Tongue flicking her sharp pointed teeth,
She paces back and forth on muscled legs
In this desolate land,
There's nothing but sand,
The vegetation in dregs.
Then darkness falls spreading ebony wings.
The tribal drums begin to beat,
Her body wrought with convulsion,
Freedom's the compulsion.
Dangerous, her beast is in heat.
With a predatory gaze, she moves.
The drums pulsing through the night,
Spawning eroticisms induction.
The dark corruption,
Spawning restraint's blight.
Her back arches violently,
The crescendo of release consumes her.
Her writhing flesh steams,
Stretching her very seams,
The line of reality becoming a blur.
The adrenaline singing through her,
The water suddenly chill against her scorching skin.
As the haunting howl
Turns to a low growl,
A slow smile spreads, promising sin.
(death card) just means it gets special attention. First two stanzas read like good prose. Third get's stretched and wretched, overwrought, 4th line the worst. End line makes no sense to me. After that it seems you are throwing "jarring" images, But they jar in the wrong way. Cliched. The last stanza, is the best both as prose and poetry. In need of weeding. The propose of:
The vegetation in dregs.
Spawning restraint's blight.
etc.?
I did not vote.