The Butt That Ate New York

upon first viewing
it did not portend
imminent danger

quite the contrary
firm and well-rounded
it was a breath of Spring
in a dour environment

however
before long
its playful jaunty stride
assumed a more insistent note
true, it still evoked
a longing sigh
a melancholy half smile
but
they were soon joined by
a brief stumble in the pulse
a passing catch in pulmonary rhythm

time passed
hours became daze
daze became weaks

her cherubic cheeks
began to murmur softly
to my subconcious
my psyche smoothly sychronized with
her fleshy metronome

her cute innocent curvaceous ass
revealed its true identity
as
The Devourer of All Souls

closing my eyes at her passage
no longer affords escape
brilliant shimmering
buttock-shaped reflections
shine through my eyelids

her derriere's gravitational pull
increases exponentially
relentlessly attracting
lesser bodies
clocks slow in her presence
confirming the Third Axiom
of Relativity
thermodynamic theorems
bend like melted rulers
as her very presence
makes strong men sweat

we must act
before we are all absorbed
by her voracious Singularity
(Duality, actually)
Heaven forbid
must we use
Nuclear
Force?