The Last Dozen Oysters on Duval

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It starts blocks away, on the half shell
at Monty’s on the boardwalk, then winding
wooden piers past cruisers and cats,
two-masted old schooners and rubber rafts
to Front Street and a single slice of key lime,
the meringue melting into the tart yellow
before moving on and a left turn toward Eden.

It hits you like the wind, a cool slap of life
twirling in lights, music and the infinite
scents of a restaurant row. A blonde singer
reminds me of someone I should have forgotten
but just can’t, that long morning
starting in the dark, the faint glow
of a cigarette and the hint of light
lining a wooded horizon, stars dimming
as the door closed and the cigarette
settled onto the ash tray, its final embers
lighting her breasts in an inviting sheen.

But the song fades and I walk past
searching for more than old lovers,
and the blonde never sang like Caney could.
Further down the street gravel blares
from the Bear-Bottom Club, tobacco and beer
may have eased it a bit, but no, nothing
was there, only echoes, forgotten dreams
and the last dozen oysters on Duval.
 
 

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twelveoonetwelveooneabout 18 years ago
I smoke, it smokes

and this line just knocks me out.

"the cigarette

settled onto the ash tray, it’s final embers

lighting her breasts in an inviting sheen."

Bill DadaBill Dadaabout 18 years ago
~

I asked for a half dozen oysters with my forgotten dreams and you served them beautifully.

TzaraTzaraabout 18 years ago
This is a nice companion piece...

...to your poem the other day. There are a number of really good images/phrases in the poem. "stars dimming / as the door closed and the cigarette / settling onto the ash tray" I think is especially vivid.

"Caney" confuses me a bit. Not too much, as I am assuming I don't really need to know any particulars—I assume this is a generic name? "gravel blares" is also a bit confusing, but I assume this is metaphoric—evoking a deep throated singer in the club.

"it's" in L17 should be "its" I think.

Nice poem.

wildsweetonewildsweetoneabout 18 years ago
~

i've never been to the specific area you are describing but i can relate to it through other geographical areas. your imagery and language are 'full' and i enjoyed reading this poem.

Harry LegHarry Legabout 18 years ago
Wonderful

Beautifully written.

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