the net

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I often picture myself as an old man

I see myself with leathery skin
Rugged, gaunt, and stubbled like Bogie
At the end of the bar

But I know my skin will be red
Swollen
Like a thick, boiled ham
The beard speckled gray

I see myself with dark, tough skin
Stretched over a lean
And strong old frame

Too many hours
Sanding boats’ woodwork
In the sun
To earn pennies for pints

But I know I will be a little thick
And a little spoiled
With too little tone
And too much easy
Too many hours thinking
Finding all I want to know
And hating it

I see myself with long strands of slightly tousled hair
Curtaining my face
Dark and endearing

But I know it will be thin
And white
So I’ll shave it off
And hope I look more foreboding

The truth is not near so romantic
As the imagined

Still
The net
Is the same

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