The Seduction of the NerdbyHedonisticHermit©
Teacher’s Pet, Nerd, Geek,
Four-Eyes, Aspie, Dweeb,
Brain, Poindexter, Gamer,
Dork, Outcast, Loner.
Bookworms and otakus everywhere,
Or that guy who still owns a teddy bear,
You lie in your bedroom alone,
Discreetly stroking your bone.
I want to be where you are,
At your side, maybe you aren’t far
From where I am, Is it dark
In your room? At the local park?
Maybe I’m not a model or actress
And like you I wear glasses,
But I’m here and ready, willing;
I want to make your world thrilling.
Other girls like gangstas, bad boys and jocks,
But I’ve always loved the guys that are into Bach.
Is it a fetish or a type? I’ll never know;
Nerds turn me on like a good Bordeaux.
I’ll enter wearing a black trench coat, bold red lipstick
Nothing underneath the coat except a naked chick
I want your lips on mine, your tongue in my mouth
To feel inside you as my hands wander south
Grab my C cup breasts and do what you will;
We’ll undress and you can stick it in and drill.
Weird kinky fantasies or just some simple care?
If you are naked and erect I will certainly be there.
I want to suck on your pixie stick
And watch your jaw drop like a brick.
I want you to feel special and alive
And satisfy our collective sex drive.
Tell me about C++, Java and video games
Tell me about physics, show me your brain
Tell me about the schools of magic even though I’m a rookie
My eyes won’t glaze over if it will get me some nookie
I don’t care if you aren’t muscular when you’re in the buff
I like it gentle and I don’t mind it if you aren’t tough
Let’s live like nudists and plunge into an endless dream
Off of your chest I will eat strawberries and whipped cream
And when we’re through with our love-making
And I’ve left you in a spread eagle, body shaking
I’ll leave my number in your shirt pocket next to the pens
Just in case you would like to meet in dreamland again