- Non-Erotic Poetry
- The Sonnet She Will Always Remember
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
After she rubbed away window vapor
Kathryn set up his adjustable bed
to face another snow country morning
while he imagined Florida beach girls,
only to see Children, no school today
angel making that made him remember
Kathryn his Snow White when they first married
sprinkled with perfumed choice talcum powder.
He noticed, however, grey clouds forming
and thought he'd pretend with Kathryn instead,
first having planted his tongue in his cheek,
suggesting that there might be a heaven
where he and his angel always could play
Snow White in bed with a devil again.
- COMMENTS
PoetGuyabout 13 years agoPoet Guy reads this as kind of a death bed erotic poem, perhaps because at his age he is a lot closer to dying than to playing Snow White in bed with the devil, though he might prefer to dream about the latter. He finds the poem both touching and, frankly, rather erotic. Not sad, though.
Poet Guy would agree with (chipbutty?) that the language seems rather prosaic, but feels that this is appropriate for this poem. A more lyrical language would not work so well.
Very nice poem.
Esperanza_Hidalgoabout 13 years agoand feeling empty inside, morose in a way--I read it four times and so much is good, but the tale is almost hauntingly sad to me--even theh jest makes it sad.
twelveooneabout 13 years agoHi, just looking for Emp&co. didn't find 'em.
I guess I got to read the damn thing now, OK a 5, I hand them out like candy. Well, best I could come up with is "grey clouds forming" - ahhh.
Snow White in bed with a devil again. - this is a nice evasion of cliche
bogusagainabout 13 years agoThis might be cultural but I have a real problem with 'window vapour'. For me it explains too much and just clunks a little, if you just said 'vapour' the reader would have realised by line three what was meant. Maybe this is me just being picky, a small point but it hit me on the first line which is never a good place to hit anyone. ;-) Nicely written though.
buttersabout 13 years agoi didn't get 'divorce' but illness and impending death...
however, skilfully done. having said that, and whilst i like the small touches like 'rubbed away window vapor' and (especially) the last lines, i'm left feeling this doesn't feel so very poetic. i don't know if it's because the title tells me it should flow a certain way, or that the first half feels more prose than poem, even though i understand a perfectly modern sonnet doesn't need to be all poeticky. sorry, gm, i am at a bit of a loss with this. i think it is more my approach to this than your poem, though :)
what does resonate with me, gm, is that sense of finding some small thing to smile about in an otherwise pretty bleak situation. THAT closeness, that sad humour, came through for me - clear as a bell.
