the sweet abyss

my head aches
my chest pounds
dry mouth
wet palms
heart feels like
its about to burst from my chest
i can't swallow
my throat shuts down
speaking is impossible now
yet i must
she is coming towards me saying something
damn it leave me alone
can't you see me
is this pain invisible to you
go away
back the fuck off
she stops talking
looks at me questioninly
shit,my turn to talk
what did she say
i smile
i nod
hoping i can fake it this time
it seems to work
there she goes walking away
at least there's that
now on to suffering in silence and peace
deep cleansing breath
breath...breathe
god damn it breathe
how do i breathe
jerking slowly drawing air in spurts
dizzy now...lightheaded
muscles giving out
vision blurs
too much happening
too many people coming...going
my eyes darting following everyone
everything all at once
focus...pick one point
concentrate
one small spot on a busy mosaic floor
legs giving out
reaching back with trembling fingers
finding the chair falling into it
whole body shivers
lacking oxygen
eyes roll back
lids close
ears flood...muffling all sound
oblivion,at last
wholly existing only within
knowing no sound
no sight,so sense
no pain
complete
nothingness

finally