tagNon-Erotic PoetryThe Weightwatcher's Rap

The Weightwatcher's Rap

bychille1950©

Well I'm still size 10 friend, will never be size 3 again
Each day I purge and then I binge, will this diet never end?

I starve myself both day and night, finally too weak to fight
Trying to do the thing that's right, suppressing this here appetite
Weighing everything I eat, too tired to stand on my two feet
Shedding pounds is what I seek; I only lost a pound this week.
Seldom heard and seldom seen, low in fat but high protein
No Honey Bun or Krispy Kreame, but one more box of Lean Cuisine
A piece of toast, a lousy egg, I want more, don't make me beg
A piece of cheese, a turkey leg, all endorsed by Jeannie Craig

Well I'm still size 10 friend, will never be size 3 again
Each day I purge and then I binge, will this diet never end?

Eating food that you dislike, one more mile on that dam bike
Excited or a little siked, can't really wait to make this hike
A tangy orange, a juicy peach, and a certain goal you gotta reach
This is what they try to teach, try Herb a Life, or South Beach
Weight Watchers, Slim Fast, taste like shit and doesn't last
Makes you spend all of your cash, and you’re stuck with a big ass
Infomercials make their claim that you'll lose more than what you'll gain
You hang your head in utter shame; don't you see it's just a game?
Well I'm still size 10 friend, will never be size 3 again
Each day I purge and then I binge, will this diet never end?

While everyday you’re getting weighed, don't you see you’re being played?
Drinking wheat grass everyday, there's got to be a better way
Watermelon cantaloupe, diet pills and other dope
Everyday I try to cope; losing weight is what I hope
Today I saw a size one, making fun of everyone
Wanted to take out my gun, and shoot her skinny ass for fun
And as I finally realize, no cheesecake, or French fries
Never will I be her size, even if I exercise

Well I'm still size 10 friend, will never be size 3 again
Each day I purge and then I binge, will this diet never end?

Everyday I'm on the run, from early light to setting sun
Trying to lose this weight I shun, I have no friends and have no fun
Rubinesque, Queen-size, society loves to criticize,
Ate a Big Mac and some fries, screw the kid's meal, let's super size
Skinny people all around, running fat people into the ground
They eat whatever and not gain a pound, why don't you just shut up and don't make a sound
Chocolate Mousse, a fine Souffle, doesn't fit into the diet today
Maybe I'll look the other way, is it wrong to think that way?

Well I'm still size 10 friend, will never be size 3 again
Each day I purge and then I binge, will this diet never end?

Power walking, lifting weight, to burn off all that junk food I ate
Hindsight says it's probably too late, so pass me another piece of that cake
I know eating food that's good for you, is really smart and healthy too
But empty calories and sugary goo, is what I really love to do
I know my perspective is really lame, for seeing everyone as the same
I don't do guilt and I'm not ashame, don't hate the player, hate the game
As I accept defeat in this game I can't win, I can't remember the last time I was thin
If being this size is my only sin, then take these hand cuffs off, so I can go eat again

Well I'm still size 10 friend, will never be size 3 again
Each day I purge and then I binge, will this diet ever end?

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