this gardener's anguish

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it's this attachment
that seems to pain my heart
wanting You more and more
with every day's new start
i think of You day and night
and the conversations of the day
and ponder of their meanings
and just what You had to say
and what You really meant
in the words that go unheard
the truth between the lines
where intention is blurred
i don't know which way is up
and which way is down
the rollercoaster of emotion
is pushing me to the ground
i'm wrangling with my tears
fighting them off w/ fierce desire
to see it all with clarity
to the love through the fire
but the burning in my heart
still brings tears of pain
the confusion in You
how can i remain
i don't know how to separate
or distinguish truth in what i feel
and the mixture of Your words with mine
just turn & twist & reel
not knowing which is right
or knowing which is wrong
not knowing which way to turn
to find the faith to be strong...

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