To Wendy (The Director's Cut)

To Wendy (The Director's Cut)

From Heaven you came into my life
But I didn't have the eyes to see.
My cold heart was locked in a cell
Surrounded by a prison wall
To keep all hurt from me.

My soul was cold, hard - alone by choice
It was designed to shield my heart
So I thought in my delusion.
That this was right, but didn't know
This folly would depart.

You thought I was hot. I thought the same
Of you, but was afraid to say.
I wanted to tell you this, but no
I couldn't. My frozen heart was safe.
It was shielded, locked away.

You chipped at the walls around my heart
Your stunning eyes made me stumble.
My breath raced faster when you were near
I tossed my blinders, beheld your beauty
My walls began to crumble.

I realized that my walls were breached
The first time I dared hold your hand.
The angst once felt about letting go,
Throwing caution to the wind was now
Ebbing like wave washed sand

I paid no heed to all my alarm.
In spite of thinking this a flaw
The more you stood at my heart's cell door
Looking in and picking at the locks
The more my heart did thaw.

The night I finally kissed you
You emitted intense white heat
The last hasp melted, the cell door opened,
The once lifeless lump in that cold cage
Now thawed began to beat.

It seemed ages but was really not
I felt my heart would combust
From the carnal yearning to have
Our hearts to combine as but one
And extinguish our fiery lust

The fateful hour at last arrived
Our passion released a mighty storm
You were perfect in every way
You surpassed my wildest dreams, but
My penis would not perform

I don't know why this happened,
Maybe it was Karma or perhaps guilt
But it took my released re-born beating heart
Held it up before my eyes
And stabbed it to the hilt.

I could not let you know about
The pain my heart was feeling
I did not want to make you feel
Responsible for this failure
Or see how my soul was reeling

Then you really left me hanging
Slowly twisting in the cold winds
You would not pick up or return my calls
Tell me "Go to Hell" or
Acknowledge that we're still friends

I really hoped I'd get a chance to
Get things straight, remove despair
But when you finally talked to me
You said you're sorry but
Need just a friend and no affair

I didn't want you to feel you owed me
To help me with this problem caused by luck
But I was for the first time in a Catch – 22
For it also grieves me to believe
I'd get a mere pity fuck

I'm sorry I went off like I did
But my mind really was on the border
I'm sure I scared you, but I'm glad
You found no need to see a Judge
To get a restraining order

Now I realize at this stage of life
Ever so close to my final call
It is better even if it flays your soul
To follow your heart and wound it
Than not follow it at all.

So my beautiful Italian Angel
You taught me one lesson so well
It is a much smaller price to pay in pain
To free a lonely cold heart than to
Keep it locked it a cell.

After my last motorcycle ride
When I'm dead and buried in my vault
Do not worry or fret that you did me wrong,
In my eyes you were always an angel
Absolutely not at fault

But the next time you're tense and need relief
And settling down in your bed
You can still help me find peace of mind
Throw down that fucking vibrator
And invite me over instead.