- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Too Nice
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Click hereUnder the windmill you had me
and rejected me in that
devastating way young girls have.
We’d talked of books and music;
laughed, teased and touched; found
so much to love together
except love—because
love was something you couldn’t afford
since men paid good money to take you out
and all you had to repay them with was
your body. So the man walking his dog saw
two teenagers kissing in the birch trees on the birchen head,
and missed the sad irony of
love besmirched:
by what? That you called yourself a slut?
I wanted that slut so badly, yet all you saw
was an empty purse and a boy who was
too nice.
- COMMENTS
twelveooneabout 13 years agoI hope yankee dan finds his closure. (5)
this had me
two teenagers kissing in the birch trees on the birchen head,
and missed the sad irony of
love besmirched:
bemused
YANKEE DANover 13 years agoA teacher of mine once told me "The mind needs closure boy WRITE WITH SOME FUCKING PUNCTUATION!"
Commas make mental pauses! Use them and periods to end each line!
Mind you, I'm only complaining because this is the internet and I come on here to bash people. I liked it. To bad lit don't attach songs to pages you could play "Gold Digger" in the background :)
Esperanza_Hidalgoover 13 years agoYou did a good en. Bittersweet as always, and like Norma Jean said you nail the ending. Good work and lemme know when you post others.
normal jeanover 13 years agoI enjoyed every word. You have a lovely way of ending your poems. and hey, there's nothing wrong with being too nice, money isn't everything and girls who think that way usually become bitter old crones.
keep writing!!
~ j
