Two Lumberjacks in Love-Ballad

Two Lumberjacks in Love-- A Ballad

This poem is not about straights or gays
If you're strictly hetero you might not stay
But if you'd consider a mixed table
This tale is a unique fable
About two lumberjacks
One named Zora, the other Mack
Who chopped tall wood in the great northwest
From Washington to Canada is my guess
For chopp'en they was the best ever seen
The likes of Paul Bunyan or Calvin Green
Zora was a lezzy from New York City
She should'a been a man, t'was a pity
She was six foot two, 260 pound bare
Could keep up and surpass any man there
In the logg'in camp where folk don't care
About the stuff in your underwear
Mack had a wrinkled face and a ragged beard
Looked like a man that should be feared
But he had a gentle streak I'd say
Underneath he was really gay
No one knew Zora had a puss
But they all knew she was no wuss
Three-fingered Slim on a Saturday night
Got real drunk and started a fight
And Zora with a knuckle crunch
Knocked him out till Sunday's lunch
Mack was a lumberjack but doubled as a cook
Ever since Chow Lin wandered off too look
And got eaten by a great white bear
Ate him all and spit out the hair
Mack found the bones and what remained
I think a thumb
"You" the boss man said, "you found um', you replace um'"
So Mack was the first cook who spoke the lingo of the men
And started ask'en what the men preferred for eats and then
He started supplement'en beans and spam
With wild game and Virginia ham
Zora took notice that Mack was kind'a pretty under his disguise
With nice legs and a slender waist size
And Mack admired Zora's manliness and shoulder's wide
So mutual attraction kind'a bloomed
And evenings those two I'd assume
Wandered off for a smoke
And Mack would tell a joke
In the cover of darkness
They'd hold hands and caress
When out of the forest one lone night
That same white bear blundered to their right
Grabbing our Mack with his long claws
When savoring his prey he paused
Then Zora smacked him in the head
She didn't kill that rogue bear dead
Cause a while later he up and ran
While Zora tried to nurse her man
Who lay so shocked, his breath was gone
He face was red he looked half dead
But as she swooned and cried his name
She said, "don't leave my little Mack
I prey to God to bring you back"
Mack awoke and reached for her
But blinded by blood he placed his hand
Between her legs and found no man
To his surprise
No cock or balls of enormous size
Just a void and a gentle mound
"I guess the bear bit off your cock, "he sounded
He mumbled in his stupor then let go
As Zora undid his pants and resuscitated him blow by blow
I'm sure most of you know
That lesbians have great oral skill
If they suck cock and few will
Their mouths can offer up a treat that
Even fresh pussy cannot beat
But Mack being a bottom smiled
And rolled over on the forest floor wild
As Zora rimed him as he desired
Well time heals all and Mack healed too
And thereafter they shared a bunk those two
Being a bottom Mack had the skill
To lick her puss and give her thrills
And if any one complained or noticed
What went on in their bunkhouse, "Bub,"
Mack would explain in language plain,
"A bear bit off big Zora's cock, right down to the hub"
"And I'm just resuscitating that broken stub"
But in the northland of the lumberjack
People keep their noses clean or they get a whack
If you need a moral, here it is today
When two folks fall in love they find a way
To please each other every day
This is the end of our story
Of two lumberjacks who live in glory
And legend, excuse me if I cough
Chawhooo, Ahem,
The legend of those two great lumber jack-offs