un-Broken Promise

I thought the lugubrious end
a feminine trait (affliction?),
when the desire to write
your own epitaph
overtakes your need for breath,
when constant doubt
overshadows a gift, a knack,
when gentle sensitivities scream
for a final release.
But I have learned
in the wee hours
when morning seems a broken promise
that gender is blind
and doubt (self-hate)
is omnipotent, darkness
touches us all.

Damn it, Vachel knew this
and left Lincoln alone
in midnight's shadow,
Randall knew it too
and silently stepped into
the oncoming headlights.
Only later, in the sunrise,
we saw the sun, the light
of an unbroken promise.