- Erotic Poetry
- Untimely Frost
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Spring promised. Frail, bright green,
the thin stalks
of something beautiful
cropped up among the dry
and straggly weeds. Infertile winter
seemed to have left
our garden breathing
and I looked on this new season
foolishly happy - until your eyes
dropped well below
zero
again.
- COMMENTS
DawnJover 11 years agoThe sadness in this piece lies in the frost which never left, in truth. The expectation of a thaw that never came makes the eyes dropping "well below zero" even harder to bear! I like that you put the word "zero" on its own line -- that makes the coldness absolute! Very nicely done!
tazz317almost 12 years agodoes the them and though change, TK U MLJ LV NV
UnderYourSpellalmost 12 years agoI think this shows promise although I am not a fan of starting every line with a capital letter ...... only each new sentence. I tripped on line 6 where a word appears to be missing or perhaps could read 'Seems to have left' . Apart from these nit picks I enjoyed the read :)
