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Click hereVoices and Longing
They heard the voices
In their own spaces
At different places
In Space and Time
Voices that spoke
Of magical places
Of peace and freedom
Of love and harmony
Everyone heard it
Or so they thought
And wondered yet
Why it was unspoken
They asked the elders
In the naivete of youth
What the voices meant
And what was expected of them
T'was a blessing and a curse
They were mysteriously told
Meant for the quiet of mind
And the pure of the heart
Between the two worlds
There appeared a one day
A bridge that a few could see
And the voices called
Through the shrouded mists
The first step was taken
And the destination reached
The voices within, resonated
With the voices without
And two became one
As nature meant them to be
The hard land rejoiced
At being pummeled by the sea
Now crashing and hammering
Almost brutally at the rocks
Now enveloped softly, In their warm embrace
Light as a feather
Gentle as the wind
The fat bumblebee
Smiled lazily too
As it teased the nectar
From the fragrant
Petalled rose
We sucked the joyously
Of the juicy mangoes
And emerged from the water melons
Our faces sticky with their juice
Till one day
When the violence erupted
And the sacred place
Reduced to rubble in a blink
They ran as one,
From this place of anger
Climbed higher still
And went their separate ways
The voices buried
Beneath the rubble
Of time and trouble
And yet sometimes
On a quiet night
Between the howling of the coyote
And the roaring of the winds
When others shiver
They smile to themselves
And are comforted to know
Perhaps someone, somewhere
Still hears the voices
could have been tighter, but there is a lot of promise there....
with the write overall.... it doesn't do anything much for me at all (just one reader of many, though). its one redeeming feature is here:
The fat bumblebee
Smiled lazily too
As it teased the nectar
From the fragrant
Petaled rose
i like that visual of the smiley fat bumblebee, lazily toying with the rose :)
with a few minor changes....
it has potential...
could even be in the non-erotic section, sure it has erotic parts, but that is not the central theme... which seems one of loss and seperation