- Erotic Poetry
- Weakness
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The odd thing is how I stare
between your legs, as if those wet folds
meant something your face doesn't mean
or your voice or your touch
when I'm feeling low. I do stare, though,
and love the curl of your body
at that focal point, its damp invitation
for my thrust, as if that was love
in some kind of eternity
where orgasms are like candy
eaten before breakfast. I am sorry
I want to fuck you so much when
what I really want is your hair
combed through my fingers, your thoughts
on Beethoven or Titian
or, best, your long body
warm against mine in the morning
before we rise for the day,
when we talk about baseball or nothing,
thinking about coffee
and shirtsleeves and ties.
Even then, even then,
I want my fingers inside you,
because I can't own you enough.
- COMMENTS
WillowedCabinalmost 13 years agoHere, less is more, and the simplicity really brings something earnest.
Desejoalmost 13 years agoMy only quibble is with the next to last stanza. I don't think shirtsleeves and ties works. Just don't see who would ever think about that, even when not thinking. Other than that, which is totally minor - very nice.
Corpse_rideralmost 13 years agoThere is an introspective vulnerability to the narrator's voice that enhances the poignancy of the poem and gives it a palpable depth of emotion.
That's why I liked it.
twelveoonealmost 13 years agothe opener (pardon the pun) is a good one, sets the tone. "at that focal point" unintentional laughter, not your fault. The follow though on this, makes me want to look (well...) at your other work.
Well done.
simply__mealmost 13 years agoenjoyable to read. I feel the intensity of the emotions and conflicting need for sexual satisfaction versus close companionship. I think they both are truly one in close relationships, though, so conflict/companionship are actually a singularity, combining two into one in the joy that is having a soul mate. This poem reads as two separate things, or a duality. My brain is too sleepy, so this may make absolutely no sense. You get a five. Oh, some neat lines 'curl of your body' and 'where orgasms are candy'. Good stuff.
