- Erotic Poetry
- Wet Roses
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Click hereWet Roses
When she showers in the morning
I linger there to watch her.
She soaps and starts to sing
As the sunbeams catch her,
Glistening white on her shoulders,
While down her sides the mellow
Golden shadow glows as
She sponges her tender breasts
That swing like full yellow,
Rain-dripping roses.
I step into the shower
And start to caress her.
Rosy flesh blooms like a flower
As I touch and tease her.
Tender petals my tongue unfurls,
As she purrs, arches and curls.
To her rosebud my mouth addresses
Love-poetry in tonguing caresses,
And her rosy open soul glows as
I lose myself in all her roses.
- COMMENTS
LeBrozabout 18 years agoWelcome to Lit
With this first submission;
I've run into this problem you have
On some things I've done.
Consider:
"When she showers in the morning
I linger there to watch her."
Overuse of pronouns she/her drag this down throughout.
Now try this on:
"When she showers in the morning
I linger there to watch."
Cut as many pronouns as possible. You're not writing an essay so you can concentrate on the subtle play of words and the images that are implied.
