what a lame lay

i thought you were so sexy
and i wanted you so bad
when i finally got you
you were the worse sex i ever had
**
you slobbered when we kissed
and held me way too tight
then you bragged about your skills
for a good portion of the night
**
your dirty talk was weak
nothing you said was unique
your so called foreplay
nearly put me to sleep
**
my ear is drenched with your drool
you're the exact opposite of cool
i don't know what i was thinking
i feel like such a fool
**
your nails are so long
they nearly cut my insides
this night has been a disaster
i just want to run and hide
**
i think my nipples are bleeding
because you bit down on them so hard
either this is your first tim with a woman
or you're just a lame retard
**
nothing you do arouses me
that's why i'm still quite dry
you're huffin' & puffin' like you're doin' sumthin
and all i can do is sigh
**
the nightmare ends
i say i'll see you later
now i'm gonna have sex with a real man
and that means my vibrator