What I Want From You

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I want to go to the ocean,
And climb the highest dune.
I want you to undress me,
Beneath the summer moon.

I want to stand under the stars,
Held tight in your embrace,
I want to drink in your lust,
As you remove my gown of red lace.

I want to surrender my body,
To your every need and desire.
I want to be a willing victim.
Of your burning, passionate fire.

I want to taste the kisses,
From your soft and tender lips.
I want to feel the shivers,
From the touch of your fingertips.

I want to lie beneath you,
And feel the heat from your skin.
I want you to lift my soul,
To heights it's never been.

I want to be left breathless,
Begging and pleading for more.
I want to spiral into ecstasy
As you rock me to the core.

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  • COMMENTS
3 Comments
LeBrozLeBrozover 18 years ago
~~

Nice structure, good thoughts;

but

(don't you just hate that word!)

it sounds too much like a set of instructions overlaying constrained passion - let yourself go, melt the pages you write upon!

RhymeFairyRhymeFairyover 18 years ago
Presentation ~

You present nice pictures,

just a lil repetitive.

I like the emotion I feel

here also. *Smiles*

More Please ~

flyguy69flyguy69over 18 years ago
OK

Does not present any fresh perspectives or phrases.

Fly

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