When I See You

When i look at you i see myself
lonley and begging to be free from her shelf
broken but bound
yet silent and unmoving never making a sound
when i look at you i see a sad little girl
who longed for love and believed in the world
i see a high father with abusive hands
hitting your mother while making ridiculous demands.
when i see the passion fading from your eyes
i know you've already begun to disguise
the pain you've felt
and all the blows you've been delt
when i look at you i know your scared
unaware and unprepared
i see behind your facade
i know why your so angry with god
when i look at you i see the distain
from all those guys who called you plain
i see the silent tears you've cried
over all the boys you loved who lied
when i see you i see the longing
the need simply to belong
i see the scars invisible to the adverage eye
i've heard each and every angry sigh
when i see you i see the devastation
the drug induced coma from fear based anticipation
i saw the bruises he left on your soul
and all the memories you try to hide
i was there the night you thought your soul withered and died
i held your hand as you cried alone
or the first time you think you saw hope shone
I've been there each and every time
looking in the mirror at a reflection i would have sold for a dime
when i see you i see myself
broken
bitter
Hollow but mending
if I'm honest i was always pretending
When i see you i see myself
a spinless book left on the shelf
i see the men who tore you apart
and i see the man who healed your heart
i see the man that broke it too
i remember i..
you not knowing what to do
how the world seemed to crash down
how you felt as if you were going to drown
when i see you i see myself
i see the friends you thought you had
who laughed at you and made you sad
i remember the drugs and the joy
only for you to realise it began to destroy
those you loved who did you no wrong
or the way you cry to a silly old song.
i remember the clothes that never seemed to fit
and the sorrow you felt
and the people you hit
i saw your mistakes
and all the real smiles that were really fake
i saw the deaths of the family you cherished
and how that day the light you hide parished
i saw the truth behind your lies
and the apology behind those big brown eyes
when i see you i see myself and the pain i caused
all the bitter remarks just because
i saw you allow those men to use your body
because you felt so low you thought you had nobody
i felt the hole it left
when they left your bed
you cried and wished you were dead
i was there when you lost your first child
I faced your betrayal
but you weren't the cause
i know you blamed yourself
you hated your body
you hated yourself
i felt the pain you wish you never had
and i know things got really bad
i was there when you ran away
how that night you cried
hit your knees and began to pray
i saw the years bring you to your breaking point
and how cool you felt holding your first joint
When i see you i see myself
propped up crying on that lonley shelf
i was there the day your son was born
how you were so happy you cried til the morn
i saw all the things you tried to hide
and all the secrets you ever denied
Or dread that seeps in
when he comes in
and says he loves you
then a fight begins
i saw the disappointment when he said he changed
and how you thought things had been rearranged
only to see the love he doesn't feel
sometimes i know.it doesn't feel.real
i see the woman who betrayed the man she loved
for a few smooth moves and couple of orderves
i saw your shame
how filthy you felt
but you took the blame
i see you each and everyday
every time i open my eyes
i wake up
get my face up
and check the mirror
and from me you can never hide
I'm the dr jekyll to your mrs. Hyde
You and i
me and you
We are the same
broken but.strong
to wild to tame
i Share all your tears
fears
ambitions
and pain.
when i look at you
when i see who you are
i see the person i was
and will never be
who would have thought
that she would have been me.

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