- Non-Erotic Poetry
- where it belongs
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Click hereif I had a plan!
I make so many.
since i was a child, scraps of paper full of little things.
and when the balm of writing them wears off, to move
never able to tackle the enormity of the problem; having identified the enemy
I still do not have a clear view of it.
Where are its horns?
Where is its belly?
How does it truly chain me?
Surely it has some weakness, some ticking-stuffed soft palate, that i can stab & twist!
___&twist!
___&twist!
rage, my god, my rage is obscene
and worrying. I could kill someone.
worse, I could live with it.
worst, I have to hold it back.
that's another plan.
that's another quiet thing I do, while I clean the bathroom and fold our
clothes.
- COMMENTS
Angelineover 13 years agocoming to new poems this morning and agreeing with others' comments and have to do so here, again, with Liar. That center section feels immediate and powerful and I wish the rest of the poem were near as strong. This one has too much potential not to edit, or break off that middle part and work just with that, imo.
Liarover 13 years agoWhere you realize the enemy as a flesh and bone bogeyman, horns and all, easy to identify and lunge at, is really great.
Surely it has some weakness, some ticking-stuffed soft palate
It seems you have two poems on two themes here. The first about a wish for simple answers, the voice musing and detached. The second one sharp and seething. For some reason they don't quite merge as well as I'd hoped, despite a solid attempt.
vrosej10over 13 years agoBut that's not to say others will not love this. It's just my opinion...
