- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Why, Who, and Why, again
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because I want to
2 whoever will listen
because in the midst
of daily life
something calls to me
to write
that fickle thing
calling, leading, pointing,
Saying,
see this
and I am led away
to countless possibilities
back to the top
of the quay
and once again I say
it pleases me
2 tell you
why,
I really have no choice
and here I want to rhyme
with voice
as fickle, calling,
laughing thing
runs off to far away.
- COMMENTS
Maria2394about 11 years agoSome of the folks who commented on your poem seem to have lowered his/her voting standards. I gave it a three. Because the use of a number in place of a word, to me, just seems lazy and accomplishes not a thing when you consider what it might add to your poem. Perhaps you did it for a reason, goodness knows I have experimented with some gosh awful "things" in my work and was told just what I told you :)
keep writing!
Angelineabout 11 years agothat the last strophe is the best, probably because it's the most present: that is the narrator's voice is clearest in it. I gave it a five because I usually don't comment unless I think a poem is a 5. And speaking of numbers (or words that sound like them), you got around the double "to" dilemma ("to/2") in an interesting way that doesn't detract from the poem.
Poems about poetry are hard to write well. I find they usually work best when they are built around something specific and authentic (as opposed to nonspecific meandering thoughts about writing poems). I'll post an example of what I mean in the forum. Just my opinion: see what you think.
[Note to Anonymous: Harry's poems are good and improving, whereas you sound like a broken, toneless record. Also cowardly.]
twelveooneabout 11 years agosaved by the last stanza, and it wasn't as excessive as the anon claims, although the point he makes is a good one, although the case could also be made regarding anons too.
a fickle, calling,
laughing thing that
runs off not far away enuff.
5ed if you must know, but I'll 4 if I see another...
Anonymousabout 11 years agoAnother poem about a poet that doesn't know what to say.
