- Non-Erotic Poetry
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Sweet Emily, dear Emily;
I lay you now, softly
on the banks of these five walls
in the diseased heart of it all,
and ask you to hush.
Sweet Emily, dear Emily;
I sit to bloom before you.
Words are too wet to burn
and sparks must catch to turn
hearts and minds.
Sweet Emily, dear Emily;
sleep well this night.
Tomorrow will be as a stream,
and a year from now a sea
started by this tear.
Sweet Emily, dear Emily;
I do this for you.
You'll smile to have known me
when your hear of our last day
at the waste of the Potomac.
- COMMENTS
PoetGuyabout 13 years agoWithout the backstory, it is a little vague, Poet Guy thinks. Nice title, though given the subject of the poem, a bit confusing.
Once one knows the true subject of the poem, much of the language falls into place. Poet Guy does not know, however, that he feels a lot of sympathy for the subject; certainly not the same degree of sympathy he might have felt at the time or, more likely, some five years after (Poet Guy was 12 in 1965).
Being now older, Poet Guy might question the subject's choice to immolate himself, and particularly his decision to bring his daughter along for the experience.
None of this has anything to do with your poem, of course, but it does affect Poet Guy's reaction to same, unfortunately.
Poet Guy's conclusion? A difficult subject, handled well. Carry on.
vrosej10about 13 years agoThis is excellent and extremely original. I am giving it a recommend. My only query is the first stanza; it seems a little awkward to me, maybe a bit wordier than it could be but that might just be me. Five.
kstarnesabout 13 years agoa title for a comment?- disregard
This is a good poem. I have no suggestions. Keep writing, this is very readable
Kobaabout 13 years agoA magnificent poem! At first read I thought it was somehow related to the Faulkner story "A Rose for Emily" but your added notes cleared that up. I especially liked the third stanza. It is rather amazing how some protests are started by people setting themselves on fire. The series of revolutions in the Mideast were started by a vendor in an obscure town in Tunisia who set himself on fire in protest of government corruption. Look at the effect!
GuiltyPleasureabout 13 years ago......enjoyed this even before your explanation but it certainly adds to the weight of this poem. Lovely and sad.
Tess
