- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Without Much Ado
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LEMONIA (F)LEAP EDELTRAUD => HOMELESS, JOBLESS, PENNILESS
TAVERNA AVRA-TAVERNA ex-NISAKI
THURSDAY MORNING
10/4/2014
WITHOUT MUCH ADO
Without much ado,
Or much fucking about,
My setup I undo,
Good buy, Edeltraud.
Some photos are still due,
If I have time I'll take them,
Nothing to do with you,
And if I don't, I'll fake them.
My suitcase ... and my fiddle...
My sleeping bag... and yours...
A shopping bag from LIDL...
My heart and soul, of course!
Our... endless mayhem,
Some condoms still unused,
We had no use for them,
I hope you feel amused.
My thoughts... my mandolin...
Our heater... your culotte...
Your scent faintly within...
Or... maybe it is not...
Without much ado,
Or much fucking about...
Hello, how do you do?
This is the way out.
A bottle of raki,
Manolis' liquid, pure,
My illness... been the key,
To diagnose your cure.
My object, to endure,
Your treatment, so unkind,
I want to make sure,
That nothing's left behind.
My car again I load,
Not knowing where to go,
The way ahead is broad,
Something is bound to show.
- COMMENTS
Tsothaalmost 10 years agoOk, I really like this. The going through / packing of personal items, and then of immaterial things (my heart and soul, my thoughts, our endless mayhem) conveys very well the turbulent emotion of this separation.
In some stanzas (e.g., number 7), your punctuation throws me off, but at the same time I feel the rhythm throughout. I'd just cut some commas — but then, that's just a personal preference.
Cleardaynowalmost 10 years agoThis is the best I have seen of your Edeltraud poems. Subtlety, considerable detachment, contrast, development. All contributing to an enjoyable and thought provoking poem.
