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Click hereTime was – a slow awakening: the day
lay colourless before the hour, done up
in streaks of purple cloud. The curtains wide,
the windows open, in the silent room
the world regained its senses, slowly, like
a woman waking up to promised joys
will stretch herself and smile, with in her face
a hint of welcome. Somewhere far away
a car hummed past, an insect's tiny tale
of new proportions. Overhead, the light
grew brighter, and each detail of the room
fell into place; all sights and sounds conspired
to fill me with the wonder of the day,
that, while no different from all others, felt
as if some sleeping grief had gone away.
very nice, needs (some) slight revisions to get that killer flow. Don't know about stars but this deserves a big happy face.
I love this poem about awakenings! My favorite stanza is the last one, and my favorite line has to be this one: "felt/as if some sleeping grief had gone away."
The hyphen in the first line confuses me, but overall I like the idea, the language and the rhythm of this piece.