Worth

an inspiration
one of a kind
i want to be like you

like me
sitting here staring at screens
making little black marks
trying to hold together
the lives of others
trying to hold together
my own life
i can be here for you
any time you need me
because i cannot leave my house
because i am stuck on this couch

all these things i do
that everyone seems so proud of
they only mean something to us
society does not see this as
productive
i cannot buy groceries
i cannot pay rent
i cannot pay bills
by helping others through their pain
it is only worth love
and thank yous

where does that leave me
by the time they have forgotten
where does that leave me
when this is all over
when i cannot handle any more
of anyone else's pain

if i slip out of it all
what do i have to show for it?
a keychain
a card
a letter

no, i am not materialistic
i just wish that i could survive
with the strengths that i have
and the abilities i use
instead of praying
that someday
i can be more
that just that girl
that helps others
and maybe saves a life or two...
why can't that be enough?