3: Scars Remain Ch. 04

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It had been an unusual year for weather in Northern California, and Sunday night had been no exception.

Earlier in the day it had been warm, maybe a little muggier than usual but it didn't seem like anything out of the norm. But the temperature was dropping as a rare cold front was heading in.

Kaylee tried her hardest to not act so wary around Luke, she really tried – but it wasn't easy. She had recently seen an explosive side of him that was absolutely frightening. Being scaredforLuke was one thing, but being scaredofLuke was a completely different thing. He was still the same Luke she remembered, but he was dangerously close to losing the innocence and peace he once had. Kaylee desperately hoped and prayed that he could find a way to beat it and overcome his demons.

Luke and Kaylee had spent the morning with Faith and his parents after insisting the young couple attend church service with them. Kaylee knew that Luke wasn't too excited to go, but he went anyway. His reluctance wasn't because of his relationship with the Lord, though; in fact, he had been the one to invite Kaylee to his two-person Bible studies (which Luke led of course).

Church was just a little too much for him right now. It wasn't God; it was actually the people. Not that they weren't nice Christian people, but there were just too many of them. He felt uncomfortable even around a small handful of customers inside the local 7-Eleven corner store. So needless to say, since their church was one of those "mega-churches" with three services on Sunday and even one on Saturday night – meaning thousands of people each week – it was a little too big. Given the choice he would much rather do his devotions or read his Bible at home.

Kaylee knew it was difficult for Luke to turn down his mom, and he had already used up excuses for skipping the last several Sundays. Despite his discomfort, Luke wasn't getting out of this one.

Looking over at her boyfriend, Kaylee smiled and shook her head, watching him constantly squirming in the pew while readjusting his position as if he couldn't get comfortable. But at least he made his family happy.

Noticing a twitch in Luke's eye, Kaylee was pleasantly surprised as the pastor read the first chapter in the Book of James, gaining Luke's attention:

"2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."

Kaylee leaned over to Luke and whispered, "With all of the trials you've faced, you must have perseverance crawling out of your ears."

Leaning in to Kaylee but still looking at the pastor, Luke smiled and whispered back, "I still have a few more trials to go. But thank you." He turned his head briefly, kissing her cheek.

Kaylee blushed; wasn't it taboo to kiss in church, even if it was only on the cheek? This was still all so new to her.

After the service, Ryan reminded Kaylee that the Patton's always went out to eat after church, and this Sunday was no exception. Ryan and Jessica took the three of them to Chipotles, Jessica's favorite restaurant and by default Ryan's most frequently visited place. Luke's dad always enjoyed going to the Mexican grill, but his mother took it to a whole new level. Ryan had no problems reminding the family of his bride's secret addiction; Jessica in turn gave him the evil eye but didn't dispute his claim.

After lunch, Luke and Kaylee went back to his apartment. It was hard to get back into studying mode after her short break from college. Just like high school, Kaylee found that she needed Luke's help studying more than ever. Even back then, he always had a way of explaining things so much simpler than even the most intelligent teachers. It was impossible to hide her smile as the past was brought back to life but this time, unlike their first tutoring sessions, the nerd had her heart. She wasn't even sure she could call him a nerd any longer.

Well, maybe.

For a hot shot Air Force guy, he still had his nerdy habits. And she loved that.

She even loved it when Luke helped her study; he was always so patient with her. His ability to help her understand so easily reminded her of their unique ability to understand each other, as if they were made for each other.

"Was that thunder," Kaylee asked Luke, popping her head up from her homework, noticing the flash out of the corner of her eye.

"No, that was lightning," Luke replied. Seconds later a loud crack of thunder echoed throughout the night sky; startled, Kaylee actually jumped up in her chair, dropping the book out of her hands.

"Thatwas thunder," Luke said. Kaylee normally wouldn't have let that comment go – at a minimum she would have given him a playful glare – but she was too flustered and it showed.

Luke slid his chair closer to Kaylee, putting his arm around her shoulder.

Rain poured down heavily, each drop slamming down loud on the roof of his second-story apartment. Another piercing boom rang out from the night sky. Kaylee threw her arms around him. "I'm ok, it's just... wow! My heart is still racing," she laughed awkwardly.

"It's ok, baby," he whispered calmly, holding her tightly. He knew his strong arms around her body would help calm her down; she returned his protecting hug with a squeezing grasp of her own.

Sweeping his arms under her legs, Luke picked her up and carried her to the couch.

"Luke! Your shoulder," she gasped. "It's not healed up all the way; put me down!"

He ignored her, instead giving her one of his rare cocky-but-confident smiles. Narrowing her eyes, it occurred to her how well he was handling the storm. Which, right now, was way more important than his shoulder injury. "Luke, you've seemed remarkably calm through all of this... are you ok?"

Luke brushed it off with a playful smile and replied, "Well, if I wasn't, you'd be the one carryingmeto the couch."

As Luke set her down, she squealed with delight. She dragged him down on top of her, wrapping her arms around his neck, "I'm so proud of you!" Kaylee kissed Luke on the lips, holding the front of his shirt so he couldn't stand up. As an extra measure, she wrapped her legs around him.

Looking carefully into his eyes, she thought she observed a slight discomfort. As delighted as she was with Luke, she felt awful for failing him; she allowed herself to become so frightened by the deafening clap of thunder that she didn't even consider how Luke would handle it. Fortunately, he didn't need her this time.

Her face must have given her away, judging by the way Luke brushed her hair aside, lightly caressing the side of her face – the way he always did when she was upset. Kaylee tucked her chin in, hiding her bashful smile.

"I'm sorry, baby," she whispered remorsefully.

Luke knew exactly why she was apologizing. "You have nothing to be sorry about, honey," he whispered, lightly lifting her chin with two fingers, coercing her to look back into his eyes.

"Like you said, I'm taking baby steps. I'm ok for now; maybe I won't be during the next thunderstorm. But so far I'm ok."

"I thought you were calm, but I think you're a little nervous," she said. "And I didn't even realize it at first."

"Maybe a little," he admitted, but playing it down he added, "but it's not as bad as you think; I at least have some control right now. Maybe I became used to the thunderstorms when I trained down in Florida; I don't know. I know this is a big one for California. Honestly, I don't understand why some noises spook me and others don't."

Luke sat her up on the couch and held her in his arms.

The glass door to the balcony lit up with a bright flash; at the very same moment, it thundered so loud it felt like the apartment shook.

Kaylee yelped, burying her head in Luke's stomach. She could feel the muscles in his stomach contracting, telling her that even though he was keeping it together very well, he was a little nervous. But she was terrified. Kaylee tried not to shake, but she couldn't help it. She wondered if Luke had caught on? Probably not. Fortunately he, like most other typical men, were often clueless when it came to understanding the fairer sex.

"Maybe I should stay the night, just to make sure you're ok," Kaylee meekly asked him. She felt guilty; of course the main reason was because she didn't want to drive home in this weather. Making sure nothing happened to Luke was a close second. Of course, there was also a third reason. Maybe this was the night Luke would be willing to drop his annoying values, sweep her off of her feet, and lay her down.

Doubtful. She sighed.

"Ok," Luke said, feigning confidence.

She quickly wrapped her arms around his neck and planted a passionate kiss on his lips before he could even think about changing his mind.

Standing up, Luke whispered, "I'll take the couch; you can have my bed."

That wasn't exactly what she had in mind. "Wait... what?"

Luke looked at her strangely, as if she couldn't understand English. He tried again, "The couch; I'll take it. You can sleep in my bedroom. I don't mind; really."

Disappointment wasn't even the word to express how she felt, "No, Luke... I... I thought we could both stay... you know. Together?" The pitch in her voice rose as she insecurely squeaked out, 'together'. Kaylee made it a point not to freak him out by using the word 'bed'.

She quickly hopped off the couch walked quickly towards the main bathroom, hoping her quick action would stall him enough before he could say no.

---

"Dammit, Luke," she thought to herself when she came back out to the front room, witnessing two separate blankets, one on the couch and one on the floor.

"Look, I forgot I had all these blankets," he said with a tacky smile on his face. "Now you can sleep on the couch comfortably, and I'll be by your side down here on the floor."

"Great," she said unenthusiastically, the sarcasm apparently lost on him. It looked like she was getting a freaking slumber party with her boyfriend. Not the kind of 'slumber', or 'party' that she had in mind. Although she did consider hitting him with a pillow. Or at least a pillowcase with a bar of soap loaded inside. When he left for the bedroom to change, she rolled her eyes and loudly sighed, heading back to the bathroom.

---

It was pitch dark except for the occasional flash through the glass window. Kaylee wasn't ready to fall asleep. She simply stared up at the ceiling, wondering how she ended up alone on Luke's couch.

To make matters even worse, it was still thundering – scaring her half to death – and he wasn't even close enough to hold. Tossing off the blanket, she hopped off the couch, wiggling her hips and adjusting her powder blue baby doll. She was self-conscious about its wrinkles, but she only had herself to blame for keeping it with her books in her book bag for so long, never actually expecting to have an opportunity to pull it out.

Luke was still; he seemed peaceful enough despite Kaylee having learned he would occasionally wake up with night terrors.

Biting her lip, Kaylee slowly lifted one of the blankets and slid underneath toes first. Luke didn't stir. Very carefully, she placed one hand across his bare chest and scooted her body up next to his. She braced herself, fully expecting him to awaken. He grunted and started to toss and turn, but she knew he was still asleep. His breathing increased rapidly.

"Shhh, baby," she cooed, lightly running her fingers through his hair and wrapping her leg over his. It seemed to do the trick; Luke took a deep breath; his body gradually relaxed.

Kaylee placed her head upon his chest, her fingertips alternating between stroking his hair and lightly grazing his skin across his forehead and down to his cheek. Instinctively he nuzzled his cheek against her hand.

It was incredible; never in her life had she felt this way. Simply laying with him, the man she loved. The only person she had ever been with that didn't try to pressure her into having sex—the only person who valued her for who she was, not for her body. She could have laid on his chest forever.

She wanted to do so much more with him, but everything already felt so right and so relaxing that despite the intensity of the thunder, sleep had managed to peacefully overtake her, unaware of Luke's arm subconsciously wrapping around her, pulling her in closer.

---

It was either the sizzling sound of bacon or its wonderful smell in the air that had awakened her. Instinctively, she reached over to put her arm around Luke, but only felt an empty space.

As she slowly began to stir, remembering the previous night, she silently cursed with the realization of how quickly she had fallen asleep.

"I'm not sure if I should be upset with you for tricking me, or if I should thank you for lying on my chest last night," Luke said sternly. He softened a little and admitted, "It was really wonderful."

Kaylee snickered and bit her lip, "I couldn't help it! The storm was loud and scary," she said in her cutest baby voice, trying to get herself out of trouble.

"Hmm," was all Luke muttered back, clearly unconvinced. She looked up at him from the floor; he was trying to hide a smile but did a poor job.

"It could have been worse," she said with a devious smile on her face. "I was going to take off my baby doll, but I knew you would freak. You and your stupid morals."

"I'm trying to get you to your wedding night; you deserve that, but you're not making it easy."

"I know," she said dreamily. "Despite my... shall we say, devious side, I am so lucky you are willing to do that for me. Like the luckiest girl in the world." Part of her didn't care to make it – beside Luke hadn't exactly proposed to her – but a significant part of her loved Luke even more for resisting his own temptations. All for her sake. Despite making his chivalrous act look easy, she knew it was just as torturous to him, too. It was a conflicting emotion she had a hard time fighting. But a dilemma like this was one she could find a way to live with.

Apparently all it took was that one night to deepen their relationship even more. Luke and Kaylee spent the next few nights together. Luke tried his hardest to keep his hands off of her. Occasionally, he accidentally bumped up against her, or rather 'poked' her; his face turned red every time. Kaylee's did, too. Yet all she could think about was Luke's wandering hands devouring her body, and she had a hard enough time turning off her charms so he wouldn't succumb. Still, she knew they were playing with fire, and they wouldn't be able to hold out for much longer.

---

No matter how hard or fast he ran, the enemies were faster. Each of his steps that hit the ground felt like slow motion no matter how hard he pumped his arms; it was almost as if his legs were weighted down with lead. He knew there was no getting away. Enemy fire was getting closer; it was just a matter of time before the large caliber bullets tore through his body armor and into his flesh.

If he could at least make it to the dilapidated shack up ahead, he might have a chance. He ran faster and faster, watching bullets flying out of his peripheral vision ricochet off of the ground, missing him by mere inches.

Leaping in the air, Luke launched himself shoulder first towards the boarded up window and sent splinters of wood flying everywhere, safely landing inside. He had cover for now; he was temporarily safe, at least long enough to give him time to mentally regroup and, with any luck, formulate a plan.

But something in the back of his mind warned him that he wasn't alone. It was eerily quiet in the dark shack and the noise of artillery fire had ceased. At first, all he could hear was his own breathing, but he caught someone – or something – making a noise in the next room. Luke reached for his weapon but it was gone; he must have dropped it while he was trying to escape. Carefully he moved towards the open doorway, each boot step quiet, trying his hardest to avoid stepping on a squeaky floorboard. His heart was pounding. Sweat ran off his forehead and into his eyes; Luke slowly reached up, wiping the dirt and grime away with his dirty sleeve.

In an instant something jumped out of the dark shadows towards Luke. It was dressed head to toe in black, so dark Luke almost thought it was made up of fluttering shadows instead of dark robes. The only thing Luke could clearly see was the steel twelve-inch knife sweeping towards him in a downwards arc.

Luke lurched forward and then held his position while reaching up to block the descending stroke. With one swift move he grabbed and held the attackers arm while wrapping his leg behind him, pushing him backwards and over his leg – essentially tripping the black-cloaked stranger to the ground.

Luke pounced on him with lightning speed, seething with rage. Growling savagely, he wrapped his hands around the insurgent's neck, squeezing as hard as he could. Luke ignored the futile and desperate squirming of the man underneath him. Gritting his teeth, he resolved to kill the man at any cost. The man desperately clawed at Luke's hands and wrists. Luke saw blood on the backs of his hands and felt a dull pain, but as adrenaline surged throughout his body it didn't even faze him.

Kill or be killed,he thought to himself, fury coursing through his veins. He wanted to squeeze the life out of him. But at the same time, a conflicting thought surfaced in the far back corner of his mind.

You're not a killer.

He didn't want to be a killer.

But there's no other way, you have to kill him if you want to escape!

Luke had him pinned, the knife had been knocked out of his hands, and he was helpless. It would be easy.

Show mercy.

No, I'll kill him! He tried to kill me first!

Show mercy...

Against his better judgment, Luke's hands loosened up.

You fool, he'll overpower you...

It didn't seem right; this bastard deserved to die. But something powerful inside was telling him to subdue and not kill, and he couldn't shake it.

"Luke," he heard a frightened voice squeak out – a female voice. It was a familiar voice, normally of a soothing nature as his memory recalled, but his name was uttered with great fear and distress.

There was enough familiarity with the voice that his focus began to return, gradually chipping away at his uncontrollable fury. Luke blinked.

He took a deep breath.

As he relaxed, everything around him slowly started to melt away. The four walls of the dark run-down shack had been replaced with modern, smoother walls, highlighted with a pale tint from the moonlight spilling through the large glass window. Luke realized that he wasn't on a wooden floor, but instead he was on top of a bed with the covers kicked off.

Luke was sitting on top of Kaylee's chest, horrified as he realized her hands were desperately clawing at his wrists; his hands were wrapped tightly around her neck.

Even through the dark of the night he could tell she was turning blue from a lack of oxygen. The look on her face was one that he had never seen before; it was a look of pure terror. Her eyes pleaded for mercy, but more than that, they showed that they were petrified of him.

He was killing his girlfriend.

Luke immediately let go and leaped back, almost falling off of the bed. He watched Kaylee desperately struggle to breathe. He almost threw up as he realized he was only seconds away from killing her. Half of him wanted to run away while the other half wanted to scoop up Kaylee in his arms and tell her everything would be all right.

But he did neither; he was frozen in place, helpless to watch Kaylee recover and undo the damage that he had caused. It was absolutely horrible watching her suffer. He reached his hand out and slowly crawled across the bed, but Kaylee jumped off the bed and backed away whimpering, trying to keep as much distance between her and Luke as she could.