4.23 am

I wake up in the middle of the sticky, scary dream, feeling lost, confused and disoriented. Instantly I know I need your warmth and strong arms around me, the reassurance and safety of your touch. I turn around, searching for protection of your arms, wanting to snuggle up and drift into the dream again- only, to my surprise, to find your side of the bed empty. Startled and perplexed I reach out and in the darkness locate the night lamp switch. The lamp flickers on and for a few seconds the light hurts my eyes. I shelter them with my hand, and one glance to your side of the bed, and one look at your pillow tells me you never even made it to bed.

Slowly I remember the events of the past evening; saying 'good night' to you and leaving you to work in the home office, after another day spend by myself, with you working on another endless, important project. Another project that is more important than me, the very one that made you, again, work through the day, skip your lunch and leave your dinner half eaten and forgotten on the side of your desk.

I peek at the clock and the red digits tell me it is 4.23 am. Anger sparks inside me instantly, fuelled by the feeling of rejection and loneliness. 'Enough is enough,' I think, and decide to face you, here and now. I don't care if it is the middle of the night - I've been choking on my words for months now...

It's been going on for too long. All those missed dinners, all those late bedtimes... All those lonely evenings and excuses. The pain of having to see your tired face every day in the morning, all those empty coffee cups and half eaten slices of toast during breakfast, much too long working hours in the office and when you make it home you are still on your laptop. Every day I go to bed by myself and slowly I forget how it felt to fall asleep in your warm arms.

I get up from the bed, pull my night gown down and smooth my awkward hair. Bare feet on cold floors, down the creaking stairs and straight to the study. The door is slightly ajar and with a gentle push it opens wide. I walk quietly into room.

The study is soaked in darkness, only a small desk lamp and the screen of your laptop throwing in some light. The windows are open and the wind is gently moving the curtains and blowing pages of forgotten newspaper left on a side. You are sitting at your computer desk focused on something on the laptop screen. Your hair is unruly as always and the top and bottom buttons of your cream shirt are undone, your tie thrown on the floor. The computer screen is flickering and you lift your hand up with a sigh to rub your strained eyes, looking exhausted and defeated, not aware of my presence in the room. Your hand moves up to massage your neck and then you stretch yourself with a huge yawn. I can see clearly you are overtired and need a break. My heart leaps to you, my arms are longing for your touch.

I walk a few steps further and you only notice me as I stop near your chair. Without a word I put my hand on your arm and brush against your shoulders. I let my fingers run through your thick hair, enjoying the touch. You take hold of my hand and lift it to your lips and place a kiss in the middle of the palm.

"Baby, it's gone 4 am..." I say.

"Yeah, I know... I'm almost done, all I need is to enter the data my PA will email to me first thing in the morning..." you say between the kisses, your mouth warm and dry on my skin.

I step in front of you, between your legs. With a sigh I slide my other hand inside your open shirt, down through the back, feeling tense muscles under my hand, across your broad shoulders, to your chest, to gently stroke your smooth skin. "You look so tired, baby, I don't like seeing you like this! I hate it! You are working too much... It's not what we wanted, not how it's meant to be!" I say and lean forward to kiss the tip of your head, your thick hair tickling my nose, and I inhale the familiar deep scent.

The need for your touch and wanting to clear the situation once and for all are fighting inside my head. I'm longing for you but at the same time I know we have to talk, now, and here, before it's too late. As I lean over, my creamy breasts spill out of my skimpy night gown. You take this opportunity to press your cheek to my full bosoms and your arm wraps itself around my waist, pulling me closer. At the same time your legs shift slightly to the sides, leaving a space for me to stand in, directing me without words to move. I obey and stand between your spread knees, leaning against you with my hands resting on your shoulders. I leave a trail of butterfly kisses on your jaw and neck, and blow gently in your ear. A shiver runs through your body and a small gasp escapes your mouth. My velvet tongue traces the shape of your ear and I lick and nibble your ear lobe.

You move your head and our lips meet in a first slow kiss. Our tongues flicker, caress, stroke and you lap my lip gently with yours. You taste of coffee and yourself, a flavour so well known to me and so deeply missed. Your hands wander around my body and you discover that under my nightie I'm naked. I see the lust in your eyes and I smile. Your hand touches my breast and finds my hard, erect nipple, weighs the creamy flesh. Your other hand continues to travel down my body, feeling my soft tummy, down between my thighs, reaching out to my wet, warm, shaved pussy. You slide your finger, parting the smooth outer lips and start to tease my clit. You rub and stroke it hard. The pleasure granted by your touch is wonderful.

But I compose myself and pull off, pushing your hand away. There is a surprise in your eyes and a question is growing on your lips, but you look at my face and hush yourself. "Baby, we really need to talk!" I say, smoothing my night dress.

"Please," you whisper, eyes deep in mine. "In the morning, sweetie," your arms reaching out and pulling me closer.

"No! We will talk now!" I tell you in a stern voice, taking a step back and sitting myself on the edge of the desk. I see your eyes wandering around my naked legs, caressing my smooth thighs and trying to peek below the short hem line of my night gown. With a sigh I pull the nightie down, covering as much exposed flesh as I can, wishing I had my dressing gown on me now, cursing myself for lack of forethought. The cool air blowing through the open window has covered my arms in goosebumps and caused my nipples to harden. Suddenly self aware and embarrassed, I wrap my arms around myself, in an attempt to keep myself warm and cover my chilled breasts.

You rub your eyes with a sigh. "Right. What do you want to talk about?" you say, resigned.

"It can't go on like this. We can't carry on like this. You are working too much. Is it worth it? This wasn't the plan when you started your own company..." I start to say, but you cut in short.

"Yes, yes it was! You knew that the first few months would be hard, that we need to build a new base of customers, new contacts, secure new contracts, all with a limited work force..."

"Months! Months! Not years! It's been going on for 2 years, month after month, week after week. You weren't here for Christmas dinner, I spend New Year Eve alone with you away on a business trip, you missed my birthday dinner - which, by the way, you had your secretary to arrange! You missed the christening of your brother's first born and for goodness sake, you didn't go to your parent's 40th wedding anniversary celebration, because you were waiting for a call from Hong Kong?!" I reply, speaking louder and louder, shaking, my hand hitting the desk with every word, tears bitter in my throat. I almost choke on the last few words, tears running down my cheeks.

I watch you through the blur of tears. Your head hung low, shoulders slouching, the harshness of my words finally getting through to you. I lift my hand and wipe tears off. "Baby, we can't carry on like that," I sob.

"Oh God. I never realised. You seemed happy and never complained, I thought..." you say, looking lost and confused, broken and lonely. "I guess I forgot... Oh, baby, I am so sorry." You pull yourself closer to me, the wheels of the office chair rattling loud on the wooden floor. Your hand finds mine on my lap, lifting it to your dry mouth. You kiss each of my fingers, licking off the salty tears, rubbing my knuckles against your stubbly chin and cheek. "I thought you were enjoying a bit of freedom. I thought you were focusing on your work and enjoying all those nice things you can buy, shopping trips and going out with friends... You seemed fine, I never, Tamsin, honestly, I never realised you were unhappy, baby! I am doing it for both of us, for our future... Maybe for our babies one day?"

I pull my hand out of your grip and kneel in front of you, resting my elbows on your knees, placing your face between my palms, locking your head in a tight grip and looking deeply into your eyes. "No. No! I want you! Not money, not shopping and definitely not lonely dinners in front of the television and an empty bed! Work? Work means nothing to me... We used to be so happy together before all this commotion with the new business started. We had enough money with both of us working, didn't we?" I say, shaking your head gently, accentuating my words. "We had money for holidays and some to set aside. We had time for each other too! Time to just be, enjoy ourselves, to be a couple..." I continue, speaking fast, words spilling out of my mouth. "Wasn't that why you started your own company? To have more time for us? Not having have to work 9 to 5, not to be some one else slave? Remember?!" I say all this between the tears, my face near yours, our noses near touching, your face held tight in my hands. "How do you want us to have babies if we even have no sex life any more? You are either too tired or simply not there... It's been months... I am starting to think you love your work more than you love me, Ben... or have you found someone else?" I finally say it, tears pouring down my my red cheeks.

You close your eyes for a second or two, the weight of my words hitting you hard. "Oh God, no... It's not like that...No..." I hear you whisper, your hands clasping mine on your cheeks, hot and dry, your warm breath tickling my mouth.

"Yes. Yes, it feels like that to me! What has happened, Ben? What happened to us? When did we become strangers? I feel like I don't even know you! You don't talk to me any more, not even about work.....not even that. Can you remember when we last went out together? When we had a night out?... God, I can't even remember when we last had night in! Watched a film, went for walk..." Large, salty tears are running down my cheeks, warm drops falling onto my chest, sadness on your face and in your eyes.

"I'm so sorry... so sorry... I never wanted it to be like this either... " you whisper quietly and I see in your eyes that you truly mean it.

"I know, I know... I love you so much, and miss you every minute we are apart... I miss your presence, your laugh, your voice and touch so badly, my love..."

"I love you too, Tamsin. I love you more than life. I can't imagine living without you, baby, I thought you knew this?"

Your words are melting my heart, and my anger disappears. I gently pull your face closer, till our lips meet in a soft kiss. Our tongues entwine, fondle each other. Your hands slide off mine, down my forearms, down my waist, pulling me closer, tighter, locking me in a tight, bear like hug. I wrap my arms around you and bury my face in your neck.

"I can't believe I almost lost you. I can't believe I've been so blind!" you whisper in my ear, your hug getting even tighter.

"Hey, hey! I'm not going anywhere," I say and kiss your neck, your ear, cheek, placing a long, loving kiss on your sad lips. The stubble above your mouth prickles my lips and rubs against my chin. Your hands start to move up and down my back, sides, massaging and rediscovering my shape all over again.

"Mmmm, baby, you are so warm, so soft, so inviting..." you say, hands caressing my curvy tummy and slowly moving on up, to my heavy breasts.

I feel the heat of your body through our clothes and your hands almost burn my skin through thinness of the silk night gown. Your fingers are brushing my nipples and fondling my breasts, slowly, lovingly, tenderly. "It's been so long, darling..." you whisper, your eyes dark and intense, desire clearly showing on your handsome face.

"Mmmm yes..." I moan as your fingers roll and tweak my sensitive, touch-starved nipples. I reach for the belt of your trousers and unbuckle it slowly. Sliding the zip over the bulge of your cock I place another unhurried kiss on your lips, kissing the corners of your mouth and tracing the shape of your lips with my tongue. I pull your shirt out of the way and let one finger wander inside your shorts, tease the pre cum dampened tip of your growing cock, listening to your moans. After a moment I pull your boxers down, exposing your thick, hard shaft. I sit on my heels, on the cold floor, my knees slowly starting to ache.

You lift your hips up, a cue to me, and I pull your trousers and shorts all the way down, over your knees, to your ankles. I reach again and trace with my finger down your hardening cock. Truly wonderful, so smooth. I run the tip of my finger against every exposed vein, feeling the blood rushing, feeling your heart beat. Teasing the glistering cock hole I look up at you. "I want to taste you, to feel your cock in my mouth. I need to taste your cum, baby..."

"Yes, yes... please..." you whisper back, your eyes closed and head thrown back, your whole body tense and shivering from anticipation.

"I want you to fuck my mouth, Ben," I say and instantly you look at me surprised. "Like you never did before, baby, please!" Your cock starts twitching and throbbing in my grip. "And I want to suck you harder and stronger, faster than I ever did!" I carefully cup your balls in my hands and feel them going tense. I gently squeeze them, and lick my mouth. I see your eyes following the movement of my tongue and I smile mischievously. "Yes?" I ask quietly and you answer promptly:

"Yes!"

My hand closes around your cock and wraps itself in a tight fist around thick shaft. I start to play with you, squeezing, pumping, stroking. I lower my head down and trace the rim of your dick with my wet, hot tongue. I lick the head and tickle the sweet hole, which already tastes of your seed.

"Mmmmmm"I hear you grunt.

I lean forward and open my mouth, a thin trickle of saliva pouring from my mouth onto the tip of your shaft, and I slowly start to work my hand up and down your cock, skin on skin gliding smoothly. I close my mouth around the head of your cock, flickering my tongue fast, petting and teasing. After a moment I slide your cock in all the way down, till it hits back of my throat and my nose meets your stomach. I feel you going tense and hear your moans. Your hips thrust, pushing your cock deeper and I breathe in and swallow. The sensation of my tongue and throat closing ever so tight around cock makes you shiver. Your hips thrust again and your hand grips my hair tight, pushing down, holding me still, as if making sure I won't abandon your cock now. I swallow again and you ease your grip enough to let me glide your cock out.

I suck over and over again. I suck your hard cock's head while my hand is rubbing up and down your shaft, wet with my saliva and your pre cum. My are lips nibbling and pinching the length of your hard, big cock. I find more pre cum gathered at the tip of your dick and , delighted, lick every precious drop. I hear you gasping and I slide your dick all the way in and out, with my hand following, sliding up and down, your cock in the vacuum of my mouth with my tongue licking, stroking hard. I pull out. "I want to taste you. I want my mouth filled with your wonderful cock and I want to taste your delicious cum."

"God, woman... Please! Don't stop!" you urge me to continue, sweat glistering on your forehead, face dark and tense.

I wink at you and unhurriedly keep stroking your cock, kneeling there on the floor, watching you.

Your dick is all wet and shiny and I slide my hand hard, with my fingers closed tightly against your cock. Stroking up and down. I lean forward and take your shaft in again, my sucking is urgent, greedy, rushed. Your cock is rubbing against my tongue. I glide you in again, deep, into my throat, and swallow. I do this again and again, your moans music for my ears. I am so turned on. I want more of your wonderful cock. I suck impatiently and my tongue wraps itself around your thickness. Your hips start to move up, up and down slightly, lifting off the chair and resting back on it, bucking, thrusting, and your penis hits the back of my throat, my lips squeezing tight around you, leaving it trapped in the vacuum of my mouth.

I moan, hum and grunt with your shaft trapped deep in my mouth, and the sound vibrates through your dick, to your balls and into your body.

"Oh God, baby... Yes! Come on, suck! Suck it... Suck it..." I hear you beg.

I obey and suck harder, harder and harder. Faster, faster and faster. All I think of is how much I want you to cum in my mouth. All I can think about is how much I need to taste you right now and how long it has been. And how much I need you to feed my hunger. My hand, closed in a tight fist, is stroking your dick while I suck and lick and stroke and I feel your body tense. With a loud moan and a strong thrust of your hips, you shoot deep in my mouth, your creamy, salty cum hits my throat. I continue to suck, lick every drop, every inch, cum pooling in my mouth, sticking to my gums and tongue.

I lift myself slowly up, resting my hands on your knees, your still hard, cum-dripping cock between us, and I kiss you on your lips. You eagerly respond, instantly laying your hands on my breasts, and I let your cum flow into your open mouth, pushing it in with my tongue. At first I am certain you will pull out, but to my great surprise, to my delight, you pinch my nipples instead. I moan with pleasure and your tongue glides in my mouth, delivering cum mixed with saliva back to me again. I moan again, thrilled, delighted, intoxicated with happiness, feeling your hand wandering down my tummy, lifting the hem of the night gown to finish petting my dripping wet cunt. I swallow your delicious load and break the kiss away, only to rest my hot forehead against yours, eyes closed, focused on your touch, slim fingers parting my shaved lips, teasing and petting my tender and wet clit.

"Come on, baby... Sit up!" you say and push me back, onto the desk. I feel your laptop under my butt and hear your documents and papers fall onto the floor. I try to warn you but you seem not at all worried, and hush me with a gesture. Your hands suddenly grip around my ankles, lifting my legs up and setting my feet on the arm rests of your chair. Your head disappears between my thighs and I feel your hot, hungry mouth on my dripping pussy. Your lips lap at my swollen clit and your tongue plunges inside my cunt. The room starts to spin and waves of pleasure travel through my body. I prop my elbows and upper arms on the desk top and throw my head back, completely surrendering myself to your lips and tongue. I feel your teeth, sharp and harsh, biting my clitoris gently, while your tongue rubs it, pressed tightly. You lick and suck, rub and tease. With your hands holding my thighs steady your nose is buried under the hood, my juices smeared on your lips, dripping on your chin. Sounds of slurping and sucking fill the room, mixing with my gasps, loud breathing and cries of pleasure.

"Oh baby, make me cum... Please, don't stop..." I beg you, desperate for more.

And this is just what you do! Your fingers find my wet hole and you start finger fucking me, slowly at first, patiently, one finger gliding in and out, then adding one by one, gliding them in and out my tight pussy, till four fingers plunge in and out, stretching and filling my starved cunt.