A Bargain Ch. 04

MONDAY MORNING SURPRISE

Dianne shook me awake. She was standing beside the bed, fully dressed. I looked at the clock and it said 4:15. "What's going on, Dianne? Why are you already dressed and . . .?"

"I can't do it again, Don." For the first time I saw the streaks of tears on her face. "That was our last time. Thanks. It was great. Better than that. Wonderful."

"Whadya mean? We've still got a coupla days? Why . . .?"

"Because I can't, that's why. I need to clean up every trace of us from my room, and you need to get my smell out of your car so that Jenn doesn't notice it. It may take both of us two days to get that done."

"That's bullshit! What's really going on?"

Dianne stared at me. I saw fresh tears running down her cheeks. "I was a fool, " she said. "I thought I could have sex with you and not get emotionally involved. But I can't. It's going to hurt to give you back to Jenn. That's why we can't do it again. Goodnight, Don."

"Wait! What the fuck do you think happened to me? Do you think it didn't mean anything to me, either?"

"Don, you're in love with Jenn. I offered myself to you with the promise of no emotional attachments, and you accepted. On that basis. I just can't live up to it. And that comes as a surprise to me. No matter what you feel for me, it's Jenn you're going to be with. Just don't EVER tell her about what we did while she was gone, okay? I'd like to stay her friend. And maybe be invited to your wedding."

With an abrupt swallowed sob, Dianne bolted for the door. Then she was gone. I lay in my bed trying to sort out my feelings. They were confused, twisted, and tangled. I was in love with Jenn, but what did I feel for Dianne? Was it the beginning of love, or was I just overwhelmed by the intensity of the sex we shared? I wondered how Jenn would feel about me when she got back. I wondered if she had fucked her old boyfriend. If she had, would I still love her? If she had decided she didn't love me, could I go back to Dianne even if I was still in love with Jenn? Would that we fair to Dianne?

I didn't get any more sleep that night. I knew I was in love with Jenn, but I my powerful feelings for Dianne were confusing me. Could the power of raw sexual attraction be that strong? But I felt the same desire for Jenn! As much as I still wanted to make love to Dianne, I knew my desire to make love to Jenn was even stronger. Was that only because I hadn't fucked her yet? But Jenn might come back and tell me that she wasn't interested. So what would I do then? Would I try to pick up Dianne on the rebound?

For the next two days Dianne managed to avoid seeing me, even at meals. I really missed her, and not just for the great sex. We'd talked and shared all kinds of personal and important things while lying naked in bed together. I'd been a fool to become so intimate with two women at once. How much of my love for Jenn was based upon the smug satisfaction I felt for having taught her to enjoy her sexual side? How much of what I felt for Dianne was the pride I felt for having been a good lover with an experienced woman? Were my feelings that shallow, based only upon my own puffed-up ego?

So for the next two days I spent a lot of time, alone, wondering about a lot of things. As I drove to the airport to meet Jenn's plane, I was no closer to understanding what was going on in my head.

I was only certain of one thing. I really wanted to make love to Jenn - at least once. Whether or not we got engaged, whether or not she wanted to be with her old boyfriend, whether or not she'd fucked her old boyfriend while she was home, I wanted to complete - consummate - the sex lessons I'd begun teaching her. Perhaps if I'd only had the sense to realize what that implied, all of us could have been spared a lot of needless emotional pain.

This story continues in "A Bargain Ch.5: Resolution - Lust, Love, and More."