A Changed Life Ch. 04byingarlm©
Thank you all for your comments - I've been blown away with how much you have been enjoying this story. There's one chapter to go.
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Okay, I still hated butterflies. Other than that, I just had the best day of my life so far. Frustration was high after a couple of days of having no time alone with Charlie, and then yet again he surprised me and took things much further. That kiss was going to be on my mind forever. It was already the most wonderful thing we could have been doing, wandering through the woods alone and holding hands, and then he turned and instigated a kiss that set my whole world spinning. He kissed like a dream and tasted so sweet. I could have stood there all day doing that. It was only going to make seeing him at work harder, knowing that we had shared such a moment.
On top of that it made my home feel even more empty when he dropped me off. I wanted him there to snuggle up to on the sofa, not heading back to his own place and not likely to see him until tomorrow when we would both be busy. I needed to organise some more time together because I would go crazy if I had to wait until next Monday to see him properly again. I needed to keep it light still because I had a feeling that despite the kiss Charlie was not ready to jump into bed with me. I was going to have to wait for him to broach that subject, or at least do my best to wait. Too many more kisses like the first one and I may have no control left.
Over the next couple of nights I was quickly proved right. Having him that close but not being able to see or speak to him properly was not doing it for me at all. We shared glances and smiles but it was not enough. I needed time with him badly. The end of shift wasn't so bad because I was always tired, but before I went into work I felt so alone and bored I couldn't wait to get into the restaurant so I would at least have a few quick moments to warm me and make me smile. I was so desperate I couldn't leave on Wednesday without making plans. He seemed to have hung back a bit, and I hoped it was because he wanted to see me properly too.
"Can we do something tomorrow before work? Just a chat and a coffee? I just really want to spend some time with you." I asked, trying not to sound too desperate.
He smiled at me. "I was going to ask you pretty much the same. Seeing each other here isn't enough."
Fantastic, he was thinking much the same as me. "How about we meet at the coffee shop an hour or so before we have to be here. We can pass it off as a coincidence if anyone sees us."
He readily agreed, and at least when I left afterwards I had something to look forward to. A quick drink in a public place, but better than nothing. After that, it became a regular thing. Each day before we had to work we would meet and talk together for a while, just enjoying each other's company. We would flirt a little, but there was no repeat of the kiss for the rest of the week. We just spent the time getting to know each other better and it was enough for the moment to have another private thing that we shared. Not that I wasn't remembering that kiss every time we met, and there were often moments when I caught a look from Charlie that suggested he was remembering it too.
On Saturday when we met he came up and placed a quick kiss on my cheek before he sat down. I wondered what I had done to make him want to, and looked at him quizzically.
"Thanks for your message." he said, blushing. "I do too."
I squeezed his hand in reply. I knew he was replying to my note with the flowers this week, "Every time we touch I melt." Our eyes locked for a long moment afterwards, and I regretted the fact we were in public and didn't have long together. It would have been the perfect moment for a second kiss. I sighed deeply with my disappointment at not being able to have one right then. Thank goodness it wasn't that long until Monday, but it was going to feel like forever.
We decided to go to to Oxford for the day. A bit of a trek but we fancied museums and shopping and it was a pretty place to visit. It was wonderful being in his company again after the days of working together. It pleased me that he was now totally happy with me being around and the only awkward or difficult moments we had were when one or other of us was obviously thinking about kisses. In my mind it was either the one we had already shared or the anticipation of another, because I was sure that would be happening, I just didn't know when.
It turned out that Charlie knew the area a lot better than I did and he led us through some of the college gardens and out to a walk beside the river, taking us further and further away from the main paths. I couldn't help but notice that there were fewer and fewer people around as we headed away from town. As far as I was concerned he could take me anywhere. When he finally stopped we were by a small bridge, trees all around us and the water slowly running past. Another beautiful spot, for another beautiful moment?
He took my hand again and led me off the path slightly into the undergrowth. I raised an eyebrow at him in question but he just grinned at me. When he stopped again I knew for sure we were where no-one else would see us. I opened my mouth to ask a question but he just pressed his finger to my lips to stop me, and once he seemed sure I wasn't going to argue his lips replaced it. That was all the encouragement I needed and I gathered his body against mine, putting all the love and lust I'd felt over the last week into the kiss. His body against mine and in my arms just felt totally right, and his soft moans, almost inaudible but I could feel as well as hear them, had me hard as a rock. And despite it all I still knew I couldn't make a move on him. My hands ran over his back but I was careful to stay above the waist because that's all he was doing to me, and I couldn't and wouldn't push him any further than he was willing to go.
We must have stood there for nearly an hour, necking like teenagers and lust simmering. If we had to catch our breath then we replaced the intense kiss with small pecks until we could resume the passionate ones. I wanted to keep him in my arms like this forever, but eventually it had to end. When he pulled back I nearly lost my balance because my legs were trembling so much, and there seemed to be no blood in the vast majority of my body. The one place it was throbbed painfully inside my trousers, and a quick glance at Charlie revealed he had the same problem again. Not that I doubted he enjoyed the kisses, else he wouldn't have brought me here and done it. He almost looked worried about it although I couldn't work out why.
"Sorry about that. I just couldn't contain myself any longer." he said.
"Sorry? You are kidding me? How could I possibly mind you kissing me senseless?!"
He smiled. "I don't know. I just worried that you might think I was a little desperate."
"For future reference, anything you want to do, any time you want to do it, will be fine by me. I'm not pushing for anything you aren't ready for, but you only have to let me know what you want."
"You're waiting for me still." he said, slightly disappointed.
"I'm letting you set the pace, not waiting for you. I can control myself, and the more I know about you and the longer we spend together, the more glad I am that I have that opportunity. I've never done it before, never been bothered about knowing someone, and I want to keep doing that with you. At some point that will turn to knowing you more intimately, but I am in no rush to do that. I want us both to be ready to take that step and I am certainly not constantly expecting it or annoyed that we aren't there yet. I hope that makes some kind of sense."
"Yes, I guess it does. You really are a changed man, aren't you!"
"I rather hoped you had worked that out before now! This isn't about me getting laid Charlie, it's about the rest of my life."
He just looked at me, clearly happy with what I had said, but not sure how to respond. I took the pressure off by giving him a quick kiss.
"Perhaps we should head back. We're a long way from home."
We walked back in silence for a while, but still hand in hand. I hadn't freaked him out with what I had said, but I had no doubt he was thinking about it. Still, after a little while we started to talk again, about something and nothing really, but things were still fine. In the car on the way back he started to discuss more serious matters.
"Mark, I was thinking about what I want for us right now. And what I think is that I want more time alone. Is there somewhere else we could go other than the coffee shop, because I can't wait a week for another kiss from you."
I was very happy with that idea and told him so. "The only thing is, we can't go far, so it will have to be either your place or mine."
"Would you mind me being at your place?"
I looked at him puzzled. "Of course not. I'd love to have you there. You don't live that far away, so car sharing wouldn't be that bizarre either. Come to mine for as long as you want, and we'll head to work together."
His smile lit up his face. How easy was it to please the pair of us with the smallest of moves, I wondered. And as much as I wasn't expecting sex for some while, that was going to be one hell of a lot of pleasure, and probably more than I had ever experienced in my life. And it was going to be for the rest of it, like I had said. Charlie was the most wonderful man I had ever met and although I hadn't ever expected to find it, this was definitely love.
That week was the best I had had in a long time. Sometimes it was only half an hour, other times much longer, but every day I saw him and kissed him before work. It felt really right having him in my home, and at some stage I hoped it would be our home. Seeing him curled up on my sofa, laughing at some dvd I'd put on, or just chatting with me, made me really happy for the first time in a long while. At work we kept our distance, but knowing that we would be together again soon made it worthwhile, and I had to give him lifts back too since we were now sharing transport, so I always got a goodnight kiss from him too before he got in his car to leave. I was pretty much in heaven.
The only blip came on Friday. I asked Charlie about what we were going to do with our day off, and he looked kind of disappointed.
"I'm really sorry Mark, but my sister Anne called me earlier and she wants to come for a visit, and that includes Monday. I haven't seen her for months, and I can't leave her to visit you."
I wasn't quite sure if I was more upset or relieved. I didn't do families, and despite everything else I wanted with Charlie, I was nervous about meeting his.
"It's okay babe, I'm sure I can cope for a couple of days without you. You should spend time with your family, it will be good for you to see her. Or at least I assume so!"
"She's lovely, and we get on really well. But I will miss you."
I laughed. "I'll miss you too, but like I said, it is only a couple of days." I was really glad to hear him say he'd miss me, especially when it was such a short time. It was probably going to feel a hell of a lot longer than two days though. And once we got to work and Chef agreed to him having the weekend off, I began to wonder if I really could cope without him, because suddenly I was looking at not seeing him between tonight and Tuesday, and a lonely weekend stretched ahead of me. I made plans to see Tess, hoping she would keep my mind of things but wondering in advance whether I would be good company.
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I found myself needing to spend more and more time with Mark. He was gorgeous, made me melt, and he was so kind and considerate. He didn't seem to mind that I wasn't ready to sleep with him, even when I questioned him he came up with the right answers. To be honest, I loved him. I happily agreed to meeting him before work so we could spend more time together but that soon wasn't enough either. A week between proper kisses was far too long. That one we had by the banks of the river though was incredible again, but even better for being longer and undisturbed, and I immediately wanted more of that.
I was pleased that he didn't mind me being at his house. I had this funny feeling that he might feel like I was invading his space. I knew from what he had told me that he rarely had taken men there and if he did they never got to stay. It made me warmer inside again that he was not only allowing me, but actually wanted me to be there in his home. And it felt very homely. We watched tv and snuggled up together and my heart pumped faster every time. I found myself feeling more ready to take the next step, but glad that he wasn't pushing for it. I loved the fact that I was special to him and this was the first time he was doing dating, although sometimes I felt that I was the naïve virgin waiting for him to make a move on me. I'd told him about my relationship history and he understood that in some ways I'd actually let him in a lot further than anyone before, even if those guys had known my body, they hadn't known me like he did.
And if my own feelings weren't enough, his were out there too. With my Friday delivery of flowers, now red roses in case I was in any doubt, was another word in this week's message, "I'm falling in love with....". This time I guessed, or at least I hoped, that the last word was "you". I was on a high from the words all week, and rearranging my ten roses even though they didn't need it, when the phone rang. I thought it might be Mark, but it turned out to be my sister Anne. When she told me she was coming to stay, today, I was excited, but when she said she was staying until Tuesday I wasn't so sure. It was going to interfere with time with Mark and as much as I loved her, I couldn't be with him like I wanted.
I must have kissed him almost desperately when I saw him on Friday, but I didn't know quite how to tell him that I was going to have to mess up our Monday. I knew I would miss him desperately and it seemed bizarre that I couldn't even face a few days without the closeness we were both enjoying. Still, when I finally plucked up the courage to tell him, he looked relieved that he didn't have to meet her. I guess meeting my family was a little too scary for him right now. My heart almost skipped a beat when he told me he would miss me too though. After that admission both our kisses were desperate, and I really didn't want to have to go to work and end them.
When we finally got to work Chef agreed to let me have the days off over the weekend. I hadn't had any since I got there and even though it was short notice the kitchen would still be covered fine. Mark looked disappointed that he wouldn't even see me at work, and I knew how he felt. Still, I was excited about seeing Anne and she was due to be arriving pretty much as I finished work so once I got home she would be there shortly.
My sister was early, typically, and I had to tell her where to find the spare key to mine so she could get in. I forgot all about the roses, it was so familiar to me now having vases everywhere, it didn't occur to me that no-one else did. They lasted a long time too, so I had dozens of them in different colours around downstairs and in my bedroom. When I got home she was waiting for me, sat on the sofa and watching some rubbish on the tv that clearly wasn't holding her interest. She jumped up to give me a hello hug and kiss, and I was really pleased to see her. It almost made me forget that I wouldn't be seeing Mark. Well, for a split second until she started talking.
"So, when am I going to meet him?"
I had no idea what she was on about. "Meet who?"
"The man who sent you all these flowers and the cute little notes in the kitchen."
I went bright red. And then realised that she knew something I had never actually admitted to my family. "Um, what makes you think it's a man?"
She just looked at me amused. "Bruv, it might not be obvious to everyone, but you are my baby brother, I've known for ages. Plus I found your magazines many years ago. Under the mattress is a little obvious, particularly if you didn't want us to find out you liked boys."
The blush didn't go away. She'd seen my magazines, and I was suddenly regressing into the teenage boy that would be mortified about it. Then it occurred to me that firstly it was years ago, and secondly she clearly didn't give a toss that I was gay. I relaxed a little and gave her a big hug.
"Sorry not to just tell you. I was confused about it myself at the time."
"And now?" she asked.
"Now I'm not confused, and I'm dating the guy who sent me all the flowers."
"I'm glad to hear it. That would be a hell of a lot of money down the drain for him otherwise! And I need to repeat my first question -- when am I going to meet him?"
"Well, I guess I could ask him over, or we could go out somewhere. I normally spend the days with him on Monday because we don't have work, so he'll probably be free then."
"Good. I need to make sure he's good enough for my little brother." she said, with not quite enough of a smile that I could be sure she was joking about that.
"He is." I said, beaming at her.
"If he makes you smile like that then I'll be happy." she said, before looking concerned. "He's not some really old guy or something, is he?"
"Well, he's 28. That's pretty old." I replied with a grin on my face, given that she was 31 and I knew it would wind her up.
She just pulled a face and playfully punched my arm. "Watch it little brother. You do realise I have access to all your baby photos, don't you?"
I looked at her sternly. "If you want to meet Mark you'd better not even think about it. Best behaviour sis, no embarrassing comments or I'll send you back home!"
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I couldn't believe quite how wrong I was about being able to cope without Charlie for a couple of days. I missed him more than I would have thought possible. When he left my house to drive himself home on Friday night the kiss I gave him was desperate. My home felt more empty than ever, since I had got so used to him being there for at least some of the time. Not enough time, but still, I had to take what I could get for the moment. I was too exhausted after work to worry too much that night and I fell to sleep quite quickly, barely even having my usual wish that Charlie was there curled up in my arms.
Saturday morning I was miserable. The highlight of every day was the time I spent with him, and the time before work dragged like hell. I wasn't going to work Sunday night, but I decided to do it just to kill the day. It was probably a mistake because I got two orders wrong and ended up having to give free dinners as a result. Without seeing him and getting my little smiles when I headed into the kitchen I didn't even enjoy my job. I needed him too badly to be able to concentrate on anything else, but it wasn't my cock doing the needing, it was my heart and my head.
He did call me, first on Saturday night but I could tell his sister was there because he was very careful of what he said. Or at least I hoped that was the reason he didn't say he missed me. I managed to control my desperation while I spoke to him, and made light conversation apart from saying I was really glad he had called. Sunday's call was better, up until the point he asked if I would come and meet him at home the next day. My mind warred between my frantic desire to see him and my fear of meeting his sister in case she didn't like me and didn't think I was good enough for him. I think he could tell I was scared, but I had to agree because being able to spend some time with him, even if accompanied, was what I really wanted. I did ask if I could take Tess too, partly because I had already arranged to see her, but mainly thinking she could help distract his sister.