A Changing Life Ch. 02

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Dreams are reality.
2.6k words
4.43
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Part 2 of the 3 part series

Updated 10/28/2022
Created 02/26/2014
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jab13
jab13
21 Followers

Authors Note: Its been a while since I turned my attention to this story. There is no sex anywhere because this story is still building. Anyway I recommend you read the first chapter to get some background and hope you enjoy.
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I stumbled into my room slamming the door closed behind me, intoxicated from the massive amount of alcohol I have consumed throughout the day. The world was spinning out of control as I let my body fall on the bed, my mind craving more alcohol but my stomach rejecting its advances. There was no way I was going to make it down to the corner bar in the current state I was in as I felt tears falling from my eyes. I groaned loudly, clutching the mysterious object I held in my hand with a grip so tight you would have to kill me to pry it from me. I shut my eyes even tighter, causing the world to spin counter clockwise at an intense speed, making my body want to retch up what everything I consumed. I kept hearing myself mumble 'why' over and over again. My nerves were shaking uncontrollably as I found myself standing and walking clumsily over to my dresser. I retrieved a green box and carried it as careful as I could back to my bed before sitting down. I sucked in a deep breath as someone says something to me, in which I just nod my head in an agreeing matter.

The once quiet room is now surrendering to the power of the thunderstorm rattling the house. The dark night fading involuntary to the flashes of lighting. Small pelts of raindrops rattling on the roof above me as I lay the box beside me so that I can retrieve the key from my beside table. I opened the velvet box, and a photo lay on top. I smiled weakly as those distant memories flash before me. 'Sorry' was the last thing I'd heard myself say before I awoke.
****************

I awoke in a pool of sweat, my blanket half on the couch and half on the floor as I let my mind focus on its surroundings. Rubbing the sleep away from my eyes, I turned over to catch a glimpse of the clock that read 5:43 am. I sat up so my sub-conscience mind can wrap its fingers around the dream I've been having.

Why do I keep having this dream? Its been reoccurring time and time, night after night with me always awaken after I opened the box and stared at a photo of which always remained a blur.. Its been going on for the past several months with the answers always remaining a mystery like the contents in the box and the object I held in my hands. Everything I asked myself remained mysterious. What is in the box? Where did the box come from? What do I hold in my hands? Why am I drunk even though I never have consumed alcohol in my life? AM I really drunk. Why was I crying? Who's voice do I hear talking to me? What was the photo of? Was this dream to mean something or was it just my sleeping conscience playing games with me? I guess everything would have to just remain unanswered until one day when it suddenly hits me in the face. If it actually does.

Its been almost a year since my family has moved into our house and you would have probably thought that we would end up having that magical fairy tale ending where we all live happily ever after. Now don't get me wrong, the smiles have returned along with the random game nights and we're all closer then ever since our nightmarish past that we had to endure together. Excluding Julie and I who remain apart, seemingly drifting further and further as time goes by. Lost in all the surrounding happiness is myself.

I've been working around the clock distancing myself from the world around me. The advice my mother gave me seems to have come back to bite me in the ass. I've have yet tried to make a friend at school; my social life taking the knock out blow from my selfishness on keeping the close members of my family happy. I walk around like a zombie from the tiredness and fatigue that has possessed me. My interactions with my own family has taken its own toll with just one word replies or grunts; or with me always disappearing to go do renovations. I recognize my actions, yet I force myself to ignore them and pretend they don't exist. What's worse is my life has taken a downward spiral since that dream has haunted my sleep. I mainly feel as though something is missing in my life, but it's up to me to figure out what it is. What's been happening to me? Is it fatigue? Is it depression sneaking up on me? Keeping the smiles on my families faces is what is keeping me going day in and day out.

I grudgingly pulled myself from off the couch and make my way to the kitchen to get a glass off water while making plans for that day. I relented on doing more work, but this time it is now time to start working in the basement so that I could eventually have my own room. Sleeping on the couch was uncomfortable, but I only did it because I gave my room up to Lizzy, so that my sisters' can finally regain some privacy. They both seemed excited about it, but wouldn't you kill for some privacy after having to share a small motel room for a few years.
The endless sea of boxes that were stored in the basement seemed to take forever to dwindle down, but slowly they were disappearing as I removed them. It wasn't hard because mainly everything was packed to be moved, or to be stored. I picked up another box, and as I was reading what it contained, the bottom fell out causing a mess of photographs to scatter in every direction. Pissed off, I slammed the battered piece of cardboard to the floor and kicked it, causing another mess as it makes contact with my glass of water. The crash was loud as the tiny shards of glass scattered everywhere on the concrete floor, fueling my pissed off mood even more.


I cleaned the glass up in a hurry and took a seat in the middle of the hurricane of photos and decided to inspect them, and as I was putting them into another box. I felt a cold shiver run down my spine as I looked into the eyes of my father. My mind immediately went back to re-live that horrid night so many years ago. I can hear the sobs of my mother and Julie ring through my ears as if it were yesterday. I felt a sudden shear of anger. I wanted to reach through the photo and ring his neck. Nobody has seen or heard from him since that night, and the last time I saw him he had handcuffs on and was being escorted into a squad car, as I watched the action through the front window. Our eyes met before the police car sped away and I could have sworn I seen tears in his eyes. Were they from regret? I'll never know.


I ripped the photo to shreds as I felt tears well up in my own eyes. Some part of me actually miss having him around, while another part wants him to suffer like my family has been doing. My pile began to grow enormously as I tore every photo of my fathers existence until another photo took my attention. It brought me a smile while distracting me from my reverie, yet a chilled tingle triggered down my spine. The dream with me holding the photo. Is this the actual one I'm holding, or is it one of the other hundreds surrounding me. It can't be real, can it I thought as I stared at the young me, being kissed on the cheek by both sisters under a mistletoe so many Christmas's ago. The memory was vague, almost non-existent in my head. The only thing I can remember is that this happened back when we were one big happy family who spent time together and spread the love equally amongst each other. They were the happy times.
I traced Julie's face with my thumb; wishing that once again we can be close like we used to be. We used to be the best of friends before the incident with my father. We talked all the time, we read together, she'd play with the plastic army guys with me, while I would play house, or doctor and the other many childhood games shared by youngsters today.

"What the hell is with all the noise this early?"
I almost jumped out of my skin startled and look up to see but who else, Julie. "Huh," I asked.

"Nothing moron. You know other normal people are trying to sleep, right?"

"Sorry," I mumbled not taking my eyes from the photo I still held.

"Mom's gonna be pissed that your tearing up her pictures," Julie scolded stepping behind me to peer over my shoulder and then moving to a pile of photos herself.

"Trust me Jules, she won't be." I said tossing the photo to my lap to watch my sister go through some other photos. "What are you doing up anyway?"

"Couldn't sleep."

I picked up the picture In my lap and turned to Julie. "Hey, do you remember this?" I said handing her the photo. I stared at her face for any expression to show that indeed she'd remember it. As always her stare remained blank. It felt like hours of uncomfortable silence before I broke it. "What happened between us Julie? I mean we used to be close!" It was a simple question that I've always wanted to ask, but was afraid too. Did I really want to know the answer, or did I want to live in denial, pretending we will again be close.
Another eternity of silence passed as I watched Julie curl her blonde hair with her finger. "Forget I asked. Sorry to put you in that situation," I said giving her a way out and hung my head low.
Julie lets out a sign, tossing whatever she had to the floor. "Gonna go get breakfast!" She said retreating back up the stairs.

"Wait!" I yelled. "Please at least answer me one question? Why do you hate me after all these years?"

Julie groaned. "Fine."Her tone made me rethink, made me wonder if whatever she had to say will finally stick the dagger between us forever,

"I don't hate you!" She finally said after taking a seat at the bottom of the steps.

My eyes grew wide at her revelation. "So why do you act like a bitch towards me?"

"In general, I hate every single guy on the planet and you fall into that category, so I can't just hate you and act like a bitch towards you and not the others."

"But Julie, I'm not all men. I'm your brother. Someone whose supposed to protect you, someone whose supposed to be close to you. I'm a shoulder you cry on when your feeling down..

Julie stood up and angerly crossed her arms. She looked annoyed and about to explode. "You," she points in my direction. "Protect me. Bullshit John. What did you do that night when the monster stood over me, threatening to put his hands on me? What did you do when he pushed me to the floor? What did you do when he hit mom?"

"Julie, I..."

"Don't interrupt me. You want the truth, you want answers, well you just better shut up and listen.!"

"Sorry," I mumbled barely audible to my own ears. I can feel her eyes piercing my soul with the years of resentment trending behind them; the loath she portrayed between us over the years about to come out and drag me to hell. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared.

"Well my so-called brother, my self proclaimed protector. What did he do that night? He tucked his tail between his legs and cowardly ran off to hide, leaving mom and I helpless with a drunk that had little to no inhibitions. Do you know what it was like to see that monster standing there with handfuls of moms hair as she lay there defensively listening to the profanities he spat.

How humiliating it made me feel to crawl helplessly to the phone so that I can call the police. I sat there on the phone trembling, fearing that the monster will turn his attention back to me. My eyes darted around looking for my brother, my best friend who was never in sight. I felt betrayed."

"Jules, I didn't...." I cut off as she gave me an evil stare and I knew she wasn't finished.

"John, I was a nine year old girl living a horror, a nightmare. I had nobody to wrap my arms around to console me."

The tears that poured from Julie's eyes put Niagara Falls to shame. The mental image I received returned my tears from earlier. I relived that night in her shoes, causing goosebumps and chills to shoot through my body. I saw the heartless face of my father taking his anger out among somebody he was supposed to love and protect.

Julie brought me back to reality continuing her rant. "Know why I don't hate you? I fear you more than any other guy. I look at you and all I can see is that monster. You remind me of that night of horror everyday I look at you. I become scared at night to a point where I sleep with a knife close by knowing your only a few steps away. I can't sleep because every little noise scares me. So what do I do? I grab my knife and clutch it tightly and cry until everything goes black. I'm broken John. I'm eighteen and scared of her own family and shadow."

My head dropped in shame. I never knew Julie felt that way for so many years. I began to wonder how far gone she really was. Could she ever have a normal life.

"See John, you can't even look at my pain. Such a coward!"

Before I could respond Julie turns and runs up the stairs without uttering another word. I sank to a defeated posture, my once best friend is gone forever.

************

"Happy birthday John!" Lizzy started to sing as I emerged from the basement several hours later. I forced a smile as Julie pushed past me to leave my presence. I had many hours to think about what she said and felt it wasn't far until she at least heard my side of the story. I didn't abandon her. I went to protect and calm a crying six year old Lizzy, who witnessed such a bad experience at such a young age. I did what I thought was the right thing in my mind. Why does every choice seem to have a consequence? I turned abruptly to find Julie retreating to her room.

"Wait!" I called. She stopped which surprised me. I stared into he blue eyes. I became speechless. "Julie, I..."

She shook her head and raised a hand. "Don't!" And just as quick she bounded up the stairs.

I slumped back to the kitchen to another chorus of happy birthday before taking my seat. My mom kissed the top of my head before sliding a gift in front of me. "Happy birthday!"

I picked up the package and tore it open. A green box appears before me and it seems like all nightmares are becoming reality.

jab13
jab13
21 Followers
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