A Correspondence with Sharonbyrivertown_rat©
I received some feedback on a story I wrote from a woman calling herself Sharon Alderson. Now I say "calling herself" because from the very beginning I suspected that was not her real name. She was obviously too intelligent to use her real name when writing a complete stranger on the Internet for the first time, although I believed from the beginning that her first name was indeed Sharon. From the start our email conversation was fascinating, and over time we developed a close, trusting friendship. Her story is so interesting and erotic (at least to me) that I have decided to share it with you. I have done some editing, to remove non-essential details and identifying information (I promised to maintain her anonymity), however the bulk of what you are about to read has been copied directly from my email folders, misspellings and all. I will be posting them up in one or two week batches depending on size. I hope you enjoy our exchanges as much as I did
Sep 09/24/08 8:04 AM
This message contains feedback for:
This feedback was sent by: firstname.lastname@example.org
Just wanted to write and tell you that I really enjoyed your story. Like you, I have been reading erotic fiction since I was a teenager and stole my brother's dirty books. Story sites like "Literotica" are a Godsend for me because now I don't have to sneak around to sleezy bookstores to get my erotic fiction fix. Hey, it's a lot tougher for a woman!
All to often the stories posted are simple male masturbation fantasies with little substance. Your story was pleasantly different. The story plot seemed a tad bit iffy but other then that, the characters were well defined and and the action was very believable. I liked the idea that you described the characters as normal people. That brings it home for the real people reading it. For me, the "stop reading" sign goes up when I read early on about exagerated body parts. (the woman with the 44EEE or the guy with the 12 incher) You didn't do that and it made the story much more enjoyable. I also enjoyed the fact that you didn't dwell on the actual sex acts. It was enough to know what happened without being forced to read about the woman screaming for more or the men making obscene remarks. Thanks for sparing me that.
It was the topic of a woman being coerced into sex that got my attention and drew me into reading your story. When I was in my mid twenties, I allowed myself to be coerced into sex with the husband of my boss. It got completely out of hand and was a very bad time in my life. I'm 43 now and that is well behind me but I do have an understanding on how these things can happen in real life. I mention my own experience to inform you of how you walked that thin line between rape and consent. In my real life experience, I wasn't forced into anything. I consented to the sex with the full knowledge that I could walk away at any time. Still, I went along with it because, at the time, I felt it would have been a greater sacrafice to not go along and do what was asked. I gave myself freely only because I valued material posessions more then my body and even my integrity. I had that trapped feeling and saw sex as my only way out. In the same situation now, I would walk away but then again, I'm a little smarter now. My story with that would probably make a good addition to your chronicle series, if there is to be one.
In your story, the woman was not forced physically but coerced into a bad situation. I have a certain empathy with that. She also enjoyed the sex but felt guilty afterward. I'm still ashamed to admit it but I often enjoyed the sex. Like your character, I may not have wanted it but found it impossible to resist the pleasurable feelings I experienced. Then I felt horrible because I did enjoy it. A person may not want to be tickled but the body reacts the same whether they wanted it or not. It is no different with sex. I didn't feel that I was cheating on my husband because I did it because I was coerced. I did feel that I was cheating because I enjoyed it. The bottom line is that in your story, you hit a lot of the right feelings that would have been experienced if it were true.
Typically, I might scan through the subject lines of 50 or more stories before deciding on one to actually read. Quite often I'm dissapointed. With your story, I wasn't. It was well written, believable, and had a subject I was familiar with. The only real surprise for me was that it was your first story. Most writers are incapible of achieving that kind of sincerety with the reader on their first attempt. Keep writing!!
Sep 09/24/08 7:36 PM
Thank you for the kind praise; I'm glad you enjoyed my story. I was a little surprised that you used your real email account, I hope you know that Literotica feedback can be done anonymously. Actually I'm glad that you did provide me your email, because I would like to ask if you could help me fine tune my female characters to help make them more realistic. I don't have problems writing about men, but I'm not always sure how women would react in different situations. Would you be willing to edit my stories before I post them?
I look forward to hearing from you again.
Sep 09/24/08 8:27 PM
Thank you for responding. My feedback to you on your story was not meant to be anonymous.
Everything I told you was true and I am impressed with your writing ability. Something I did fail to mention was that your writing certainly must have an appeal for men but it also appealed to women. That is rather unique in the field of erotic literature. I think most writers fail to realize that there are quite a few of us girls who enjoy reading it too. I hinted at that but never really came out and said it. Now I did.
I would be happy to help you fine tune the female perspective and offer suggestions from the feminine point of view. As for editing, I may have some suggestions on what might fit better or be worded differently but I don't feel that I am qualified to actually edit. I lack the imagination to write fiction and only have my personal experiences to rely on. As an example, I could have never made up the story you wrote. I could write about my own personal experience on the subject but it would lack the depth and character development you are able to create. My story might be accurate and detailed but probably wouldn't make for good reading. Your words create images in the mind and that is essential to good writing.
The bottom line is that I would be happy to help you in any way I can with your stories. I feel honored that you even asked. As for corresponding on other subjects, I'm also open to that. I'll be looking forward to hearing from you.
Sep 09/25/08 9:42 PM
Thank you for writing back and for the praise. When I started these stories I never really thought about the possibility that someone out there reading them may have had similar experiences. This was just stuff I was making up for my own entertainment. Now I'm confronted by that reality and it is sobering.
I will gladly take any help and advice that you have to give. If you have any story ideas, I will consider them as well. I have already posted up part two of my story and am in the process of cleaning up part 3. I have attached a copy of it for your review; let me know what you think.
Sep 09/29/08 10:45 AM
I first went to Literotica to read part two and then downloaded the file to read part three. I'm very impressed with the way you are developing the story. I like the way it is building in intensity and the characters seem so real. After reading those three parts, I feel like I know them. From what I have read so far, it seems to me that you are getting better with with each new account. I wouldn't add, subtract, or change a thing.
I was first thinking when I read part 3 that all 3 parts could be stand alone stories with just a little tweaking. Then after I thought about it I realized that it was fine just the way it was. I know that If I were to read part 3 first, I would want to go back and read the first two parts to see how this all came about. However, depending on how many chapters you are planning to add, you may want to put in at some point a small reminder of how it all started. You could easily accomplish that by having the couple briefly recall how they got into that mess. Right now I don't think it is needed but several chapters down the road. it might be helpful to the reader.
Now, as a women who went through an experience that in many ways is similar to the one you are describing, I can tell you that so far you have really nailed it. For the man, it is as much about the humiliation as it is the sex. I found that the sex was enough in the beginning but as things progressed, the guy I was involved with, seemed to always be looking for greater stimulation. He was always wanting to take chances to add to his excitement.
Part 3 brought back some graphic memories for me. It is almost like you are Alec and know everything that happened with me. I know there is no way you could but some of the things you described could have been loosely taken from my journal. (Yes, I kept a daily journal) To begin with you tell the story about Sherry being good with her feet. I used to tease guys I dated with my feet under the table. Usually it was just rubbing their leg with my foot but there were times when my foot moved all of the way up. The guy I was involved with liked that a lot. He always made sure he sat directly across from me at meeting for that reason. One time while my husband and I were having dinner with him and his wife (my boss) at a restaurant, he coerced me to plant my foot against his erection and rub him. That is also a small example of him taking chances.
You mentioned about going to a strip club, He also took me to a strip club, twice. I didn't have to do anything in there but it was very humiliating. You also talked about giving a hand job in the strip club. My hand was nearly always pulled into his lap when we were at bars. Sometimes it was at a table or booth and sometimes even while sitting at the bar. Several of those times involved my hand inside his zipper and a few other times with him completely out of his pants. Of course I had to do the extricating. Once while we were at a dance club with his brother and another girl who was a fellow employee, he had me take it out of his pants. That wasn't too bad because like the strip club you described, it was dark. As if that wasn't bad enough, he told the other two that I was "jacking him off" under the table. They both had to look which further embarrassed me. I didn't have to blow him there even though he wanted it in the worst way but I did have to do it afterward in the back seat of the car while his brother and the girl watched. That was humiliating enough.
This guy also like flashing me in front of other people. He really loved doing that. Literally hundreds of people got glimpses of me either nude or partially naked while we traveled in his car. Yes, it included several teenagers. Once he had me open my blouse and completely expose one breast. I was driving and he had me go through a fast food drive thru. The teen taking the money got an eyeful and seemed to take his time with our order. One of the worst cases of exposure occurred when there were a half a dozen roofers working on the building next to our office. He stripped me stark naked in front of the window of his office and made sure they all got a good look at me before he closed his drapes. What made it even more humiliating was that he took his time doing it. Those same roofers also got to witness me give him a blow job the next day.
Another thing you brought up that really hit home was when you mentioned how Sherry thought of herself as another person when she did things. That is so true. I had to tell myself that it wasn't me doing those things or I would have lost my sanity. I even had a name for her and that was Lola. She was the dark side of me that did those terrible things. By shifting everything to this other girl, I could distance myself from the reality of what was actually going on. Lola would do anything and I could still be the real me and pretend none of that was happening to me. If I didn't create that other persona, I wouldn't have been able to face my husband or even look in the mirror. You really hit it with that.
I could go on and on but that is enough for now. If you have any questions or need my opinion, just ask.
Sep 09/29/08 07:18 PM
Your experiences with your boss is both shocking and intriguing. I can't deny that I have a prurient interest in hearing more about them, but I also think that it could help me in writing my stories. I think you are so brave, telling a complete stranger these very embarrassing parts of your life.
If it's OK, I'd like to ask a few questions, please don't take offense or feel like you have to answer them. Please feel free to decline.
What was it like at the strip club, were you aroused by it?
How about when he exposed you to other people?
What do you feel about those experiences, looking back on it now?
Oct 10/01/08 5:07 AM
I'm glad that you are intrigued by my experiences. I do mean that. What you may not understand is that those experiences don't really lend themselves to everyday conversations. Generally, I'm way too ashamed and embarrassed to talk about them with even my best friends. Who would really understand? Everyone I know would certainly label me as a slut and want nothing more to do with me without even trying to understand the trap I was in.
I have pretty much held that time of my life inside of me all of this time. Then after reading your story, it all came back. Yes, I'm still ashamed and embarrassed about it I will be for the rest of my life. Everyone has a skeleton in their closet but I got a whole wardrobe of them from that time of my life.
I've never been able to tell anyone about that until now. How could I ever face someone knowing that they knew the things I did? I couldn't!! Paul, you have given me a unique opportunity to actually discuss those events without having to suffer the associated embarrassment. No, I won't say I'm completely comfortable talking about it, I never will be. The thing I do realize is that discussing it with you via e-mail has given me a form of release. Because you are writing on the subject and seem to have a certain understanding, there is a certain comfort level telling you about my experiences. I may never find another that I can openly tell these things to. Because of that I welcome the opportunity to finally open my closet of skeletons.
What I have told you is less then 1% of what actually happened with me but even with that small amount, I feel a certain sense of relief that I was able to tell someone that wasn't judging me. As embarrassing and difficult as it is for me, I still have felt the urge to tell you more or even all of my experience. Paul, the reason I haven't told you more then I have is because I was afraid you may not be interested. Because of that I have tried to keep my personal experiences to only what related directly to your story.
When I saw that you did have some questions about what happened with me, I was both excited and nervous. I was excited by your interest and the fact that I could tell more. I was nervous about actually telling more of that situation. Still, I'm glad you asked the questions you did and I will answer them as best I can. You do not offend me with your questions. I welcome them. You may think that I am brave to tell these things to a relative stranger but I assure you that is not the case. Since telling a friend or associate is out of the question, this is really the cowards way out. I'm just glad you have given me the opportunity to get what I have told you.
Before I answer you questions, I think it is important to put my answers in the right context. I was at that time a young, (mid twenties) naive, girl who felt helpless and trapped in a situation that only grew worse. It was a vortex that only drew me in deeper and deeper. Like a Chinese finger puzzle, the harder I struggled to free myself, the tighter the trap became. Looking back now with 20/20 vision, I can see that I only needed to face the situation to free myself from it. At the time, I was both unable and unwilling to do that. Instead of looking at the overall picture and what was happening, I tended to take things day to day. That extended the situation but it also maintained the status quo in my life and that was what I wanted. Except for the things I did and the times I was with this guy, the rest of my life was normal. To face the situation would have would have destroyed that normalcy. There was my trap. I either had to give up my dignity or my normal life. It was either let him humiliate me sexually or face a more public humiliation with my husband, friends, coworkers, and associates. I chose the sexual humiliation as the lesser of the two evils.
I also want to mention that this guy was not my boss. He was the husband of my boss. His name was Jay, and her name was Lee. Lee owned and operated the company. I was essentially her business manager and second in command. Jay was a construction worker who gave up working when the money started coming in from his wife's business. If he did anything there, it was acting as the company goffer. One of my jobs was to provide him with menial tasks to keep him busy. He had an office and a position as company manager but didn't really do anything. Before things started with us, he spent most of his time flirting with me and a few of the other girls in the office.
The first strip club visit was humiliating to me because I was there and not because of anything that happened there. I am not now nor have I ever been the type of women who would go to a place like that. Jay told me that I had more class then any other woman he had ever known then he set about stripping me of it to bring me down to the level he was. He had no class at all. I was heels, business suits, and dress slacks. He was jeans and a t-skirt. He was country and farm, and I was city.
Jay took me to the strip club to humiliate me and he succeeded. I can not even to this day describe the embarrassment I felt By taking me in there he was labeling me as a whore, not just any whore but HIS whore. I did not feel any sense of arousal at all. I only felt shame and humiliation. He did say I was prettier then any of the girls stripping as if that would make me feel better. There were other times when I will admit that I felt arousal but that certainly wasn't one of them. To be put in context with everything else that happened, It really was a minor thing. Much greater humiliations were yet to come.
The exposure thing was something completely different. There were times when it was somewhat arousing. The time I told you about when we drove through the drive thru with my breast exposed was arousing for me. In fact I have often had thoughts of doing it again on my own but never had the nerve. The majority of the flashing we did do in the car were was a turn on for me. I often enjoyed doing it. Sure it was embarrassing but embarrassing in a way that was arousing for me. The humiliation there did add to my arousal.
The other thing I told you about was when he stripped me in front of a group of workers on a nearby roof. That was much worse then anything that ever happened in a car. In the car, I mostly had my clothes on and had the opportunity cover up. It had a more "accidental" atmosphere and I knew I would never see the onlookers again. With the roofers, it was different. Jay knew some of them and was essentially showing off. That made it much more humiliating because he was also demonstrating his complete power over me. The other thing was that he stripped me completely and even had me pose completely nude in front of the window while he laughed about how much his buddies were enjoying the show. I do have to admit that it was in a way stimulating. In my opinion, humiliation can turn into arousal if there is no threat. With observers in another car and the roofers on another building, they posed no threat to me. In it's on way, it was kind of exciting and that excitement did lead to arousal.