A Correspondence with Sharon Ch. 35

I haven't made a decision yet, and Joe has not forced me to decide. He said he'd give me a few days to think it over. Jeanne thinks I should quit, and I'm pretty sure Joe doesn't want me to. If ever I've needed your advice Paul, now is the time. What do you think I should do?

Love,

Sharon

Sep 09/13/09 12:08PM

Sharon,

There are no boring emails from you, that's for sure. Whew, where do I start. I guess I had reservations about this whole sex slave thing when you first told me about it. I was just thinking that maybe it would all work out eventually, but then you tell me about the bachelor party and I began worrying again. I guess my concerns were somewhat founded. I suppose there's no point in discussing anything other than the dog incident.

I understand your feelings about animal sex, and I think most people share it. Quite honestly though, I also understand Joe's reaction. Animal sex is perhaps the ultimate taboo, and so for someone that is turned on by taboo activities, this could easily be the ultimate erotic fantasy. So while it's obvious you and Joe have different feelings on this subject, this isn't the first time, and it won't be the last. I never believed that you would always be ready for anything that Joe could think up. But I don't think that's necessarily a good reason to give up on your arrangement, even though I still have some doubts about it.

As you have hinted at, if you continue being Joe's submissive slave, then it's almost a certainty that you will run into a few more activities that he will ask you to do, but you find you just can't. Rather than quit, you might consider talking to Joe about this. The two of you could sit down and he could run through a list of other "taboo" things he has fantasized about and you could tell him if you are unwilling to act out any of them. That way you could avoid these kinds of conflicts in the future. Whatever you do, take your time and let your emotions settle down before you make your decision.

Your biggest fan,

Paul.

Sep 09/13/09 9:15PM

Paul,

Joe went golfing this morning, which is where he was when I wrote you earlier. When he came home he told me that he was giving me another "day off" today so that I had time to think about things. Then he watched football all afternoon. I was kind of sore yesterday so I was glad for the break, but today I wouldn't have minded some action from Joe. After a late supper (because of football) he said he had a headache and was tired, so he went to bed early.

I have been thinking about what you wrote in your last email. Maybe I was being a little naïve when I told Joe there wasn't anything I wouldn't do sexually. I mean I know there are some really strange things that people do out there, but I didn't think Joe was into any of them. I may take your advice and find out what the rest of Joe's fantasies involve before I decide if I want to continue being his submissive. I'm not sure that he would be willing to do that, but I suppose I won't know if I don't ask.

I'll let you know what happens.

Sharon

Sep 09/14/09 7:02PM

Paul,

Joe came home early today with a fever and complaining that he was feeling very poorly. He didn't look too good this morning, but he still went to work. Men. I think he may have the flu, but of course he won't listen to me. He just took some Tylenol and went to bed. If he's not better in the morning I will try to get him to go to the doctor.

So, needless to say, we have not had a chance to talk about anything. I'm not going to push it either because I just want him to rest and get better. I will let you know tomorrow if anything changes.

Sharon

Sep 09/14/09 8:34PM

Sharon,

I hope Joe does not have the flu. The seasonal strain this year looks to be pretty nasty, not to mention H1N1. Hopefully you will be able to convince him to stay home for a few days and recover fully before he goes back to work. I know in the past that I have returned to work too soon and then relapsed, which caused me to lose more days than I would have if I had just allowed myself to recover completely the first time. I hope you don't get sick too.

Paul.

Sep 09/17/09 9:47AM

Paul,

Sorry I haven't written for a few days. On Tuesday morning Joe was still running a fever and was experiencing chills and body aches. I was worried that he had the flu, but he wouldn't go to the doctor. Typical male macho bullshit. Excuse my language, but sometimes that man really frustrates me.

I took care of him all day and he kept me up most of the night alternating between the sweats and the chills. His fever broke early yesterday morning, and as luck would have it the school district called me to work. I tried to get out of it, but there were so many teachers out sick that there was nobody else they could call. So I went in, but I told Joe to just take it easy and let himself recover.

When I got home he wasn't there. I was furious and called him at work. He told me he just went in for a few hours to take care of some paperwork. I told him they could do without him for a few days, and asked him to come back home. He said he was almost done, but he didn't get home for another hour. He looked terrible when he walked in the door and I sent him straight to bed.

Last night his fever returned and this morning he was worse than before. I still want to take him to the doctor, but of course he doesn't want to go. What is it with men and the doctor? They never want to go unless they are almost dead.

Don't worry about me though, I'm feeling fine. Joe told me it was a waste of time to get the flu shot. Maybe he's rethinking that stance now.

Sharon

Sep 09/17/09 5:51PM

Sharon,

Like I said, I've done that before, returned to work too soon. For me it wasn't so much a macho thing, but the fact that since I'm an independent contractor and get paid by the hour, I don't get paid when I'm at home. But I have learned from my mistakes and I don't do that anymore. I stay home until I'm fully recovered. But then I haven't ever owned my own business before.

I hope he takes your advice and stays in bed this time. Good luck with that.

Your friend,

Paul.

Sep 09/19/09 10:15AM

Paul,

Joe finally let me take him to the clinic yesterday. The doctor was a little worried because Joe was so weak. He thinks Joe may have the flu and took some blood to test for it, but we won't find out which strain it is until Monday probably.

After I brought him back home he asked me to go to the Center and bring home some checks for him to sign, including the payroll. While I was there I had to take care of a few other things too. I know enough about the business from listening to Joe talk that I can help out in a pinch. For the most part Erin knows how to take care of the day to day stuff, but there are some employee issues like work schedules that she's not very good at. Having been an office manager and a teacher that's exactly the kind of things I know how to do.

I know this sounds kind of selfish right now, but I miss all the sex I was getting. With Joe sick he isn't planning any adventures for me (nor should he), and the kids aren't coming around. Bruce was talking about coming over to see Joe, but I don't know if he's planning on doing anything with me. I'm not sure if I'd feel right about enjoying myself with Bruce when Joe is upstairs feeling so terrible. Still, I'm so horny, I could use the release. I may have to masturbate if this continues for much longer.

Sharon

Sep 09/19/09 1:33PM

Sharon,

I'm sorry to hear that Joe is feeling so bad. I've had the full-blown flu before, so I know what a miserable experience it is. I'm glad he finally went to the the doctor. I hope he gets better soon. He's lucky to have such a considerate wife that will take care of him and can even help out at his work place.

I don't think it's selfish at all to realize that your life has been affected by his illness too. You will suffer while he is sick, although in a different way. Your lives are linked and what affects one affects both. Don't feel guilty about taking care of your own needs, so if you can mange it, go ahead and fuck Bruce's brains out. I'm sure he'll appreciate it too.

Now go take care of Joe, but don't forget to take care of yourself too. Don't worry about me. Just write when you can.

Wishing I could help,

Paul.

Sep 09/22/09 8:37PM

I'm sorry I haven't written for a while, but I think you'll understand when I tell you why. On Saturday Bruce did come over and visit Joe for a while, but he left afterwords (no sex). I was worried about Joe because he wasn't eating and drinking very much. As much as he was sweating I was concerned about dehydration. On Sunday he wasn't any better, and in fact his fever was higher than before. Finally in the afternoon I decided to take him into the Emergency room. I called James and he helped me get Joe into the car.

The ER doctor immediately started an IV to get some fluids into him. He thought Joe probably had the flu and I told him that's what the clinic thought and we were still waiting to see what strain it was. The ER doctor decided not to take a chance and admitted Joe because of his high fever and dehydrated state. I spent the rest of the day with him in the hospital. Finally, late in the evening, Joe convinced me to go home and get some sleep. He said I wouldn't be any good to him if I was exhausted.

The next day (yesterday) I was back at the hospital in the morning. They told me that Joe was stabilized, but not really improving. Later that day I got a call from the clinic on my cell that Joe had H1N1. No wonder he was so sick. Once I told the nurse about that they all started wearing masks when they came into his room. They told me I should do the same, but it seemed silly at that point considering how much time I'd spent near him since he'd gotten sick. Either the flu shot was protecting me or I was just lucky.

Both Bruce and Tommy came by separately to visit Joe. The nurses made them wear a mask. You could tell they didn't want to, but they were afraid of getting H1N1. My respect for both of them increased that day. Ron also stopped by as did Joe's brother Jeff. Everybody behaved themselves except Jeff. He just had to play grab ass with me. I wasn't in the mood at that point, but he didn't seem to care. Fortunately the nurse came in and shooed him out so that she could give Joe a sponge bath.

The fever finally broke that evening. This morning Joe looked much better. He told me that he actually had some solid food for breakfast. The doctor said if he kept improving that he could go home on Thursday. More people came to visit, including Erin and we all talked about what was going on at the Center for a while. I agreed to go back with Erin and take care of the most pressing issues if Joe would take it easy. I could tell he was feeling better because he was getting cranky. He doesn't like laying around and doing nothing.

So I took care of things at the Center as best I could and got a late dinner. After checking up on Joe at the hospital I came home and decided to write you before going to bed. I really hope that Joe is well enough to come home tomorrow. I hate sleeping alone. At least being worried about Joe has kept my mind off of sex, but now that he's getting better I'm starting to really feel horny again. Good thing I'm tired.

Sharon

Sep 09/22/09 9:45PM

Sharon,

I've been waiting anxiously for your email, hoping it would be good news. I'm so relieved that Joe is recovering. I was beginning to fear the worst. You are the first person I know that has had a loved one come down with H1N1, but I suppose there will be more as this season goes on.

I'm sure it has not been easy for you, but you are a strong woman and I knew you would be OK as long as you didn't get sick. I don't know if the flu shot you got immunized you or not, but I'm glad you didn't catch it. Joe and I both need you you!

Hopefully by the time you get this email, Joe will be home and complaining that he's tired of laying around and wants to get back to work. I'm sure you have a lot to do, so I won't take any more of your time.

Your friend,

Paul.

Sep 09/25/09 9:51PM

Paul,

Joe was discharged from the hospital yesterday. It was after lunch before we got home, and then I spent the rest of the day taking care of things at the Center and getting checks and other paperwork to Joe to sign. I was back and forth between home and the Center several times, but I didn't mind since it kept Joe in bed. Otherwise I'm afraid he would have tried to go in himself.

Then this morning the school district called and said they needed me to teach. I got Joe to promise to stay home first and then told them I'd do it. Actually it was nice to get away and do something normal again. The last 10 days or so have been very stressful.

When I got home Erin was here with a pile of paperwork for Joe. He has been recovering quickly, but I warned him not to push it unless he wants to wind up back in the hospital. So after they talked a little more, she left and Joe took a nap. I laid down with him and when we woke up he had an erection. He almost convinced me to fuck, and I was tempted, but I told him he needed to get stronger before doing that. I don't think he was happy, but he gave up after I agreed to talk to him about my decision in regard to continuing to be his sexual submissive.

It's getting late for me, but I'll try to write you tomorrow to let you know how it goes.

Sharon

Sep 09/25/09 10:33PM

Sharon,

I'm surprised that you were able to resist Joe's advances. Since you had been without sex for more than a week, I figured you be the aggressor. That took a lot of self control on your part and finally puts to bed, as it were, any notion that you are a sex addict. I can't wait to hear how your conversation goes and what your decision is.

Paul.

Sep 09/26/09 8:02PM

Paul,

Joe and I had our talk this afternoon. I started off by explaining that I when I had agreed to do "anything" he asked, I really meant it. I just hadn't expected him to come up with anything too extreme. And even though he had not asked me to have sex with a dog, he didn't seem upset at what happened at the party. He didn't deny it.

"So now I'm not sure I can be what you want. I don't think I can agree to do anything. Not anymore," I said.

"I see. Well maybe it doesn't have to be anything. If there's something you are really opposed to, you can tell me and I won't try to make you do it," He offered.

"I don't know if that would work. It might be difficult to say no once things are rolling along, especially when other people are involved," I objected.

"You might be right, but if I get your permission before every new adventure, it will take a lot of the fun out it," Joe observed.

"I agree, that won't work, but I have an idea. These activities, they come from your fantasies, right?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Well then why don't you tell me about your fantasies that involve me. Not the details, just a general description for each one and I'll tell you if it's something I absolutely won't do," I said (thanks for the suggestion Paul).

"What, right now?" He asked, a little surprise showing in his voice.

"Sure."

"You know that mens fantasies can be pretty kinky, and sometimes dark, right?" He asked.

"After everything that's already happened, I think I can handle it," I replied.

"OK, but remember you asked. I was hoping to gradually introduce you to some of this, but here goes. I want to have bigger gang bangs, with even more men than the bachelor party," Joe started.

"Myrtle Beach."

"Yes."

"I'm OK with that," I told him.

"I also want to expose you more, especially to strangers," He continued.

"On the Internet camera?" I asked.

"Yes, but even more than that. I want you to enter an amateur striptease contest. I want the audience to be live," He said.

"Oh, that sounds dangerous. What if someone from the school district sees me?" I objected.

"I like it that you are still a teacher, and I don't want you to get fired. So we would have to go to another city, like DC or New York. It would have to be a nice place too, not a sleazy dive. A place with security and a no-camera rule," He clarified.

I thought about that for a second. "All right. I don't like it, but I'd do it."

I could tell by his erection that he liked that.

"I have fantasies where I humiliate you in front of your friends and family," Joe said.

"Humiliate? In what ways?" I asked.

"I treat you like a slave. Have you dress scantily and wait on me hand and foot. Then I order you to sexually service our guests," He explained.

I hesitated. So far he had only involved his friends and family. On my side I've only had sex with James, Jeanne, and my brother-in-law. It would be much more difficult if he involved my other friends and family. "OK, but not Marcia. I need to have at least one normal friend," I responded finally.

"That's fine, I don't really know her anyway," he answered.

"Is that it?" I asked.

"Oh hell no. Still want to hear the rest?" He asked me in a challenging tone.

"Bring it on."

"I like to think about whoring you out more," He said.

"You want to turn me into a hooker?" I asked, just a little shocked.

"No, no. More like the situation with Ron's boss, Tim. I want to trade your body for favors and things that I can't buy or get on my own," Joe explained.

"Like a discount from a supplier," I responded, thinking of the night with Dick.

"Yes, except sometimes it requires you to fuck old or ugly fat men."

"OK, as long as they know what the rules are; what I won't do," I told him.

"Now for some of the edgier stuff. I have fantasies of giving you to a frat for one of their parties, or bringing you to biker bar and announcing to them that you think all bikers are dickless wonders," he said quickly, as if he might lose his resolve in the middle.

"The frat party almost sounds fun. But you would have to stick around. I couldn't trust a bunch of drunk frat boys to follow the rules. Otherwise by the end of the night they'd have a goat in there to fuck me. So in this fantasy do you charge them?" I asked.

"Sometimes, and then the money is for an expensive dress that you want or something like that," He answered.

"OK, but forget about the biker bar. That just sounds too dangerous," I reasoned. "What else?"

"More serious bondage and discipline than we've done before," He answered.

"Like whips and chains?" I asked.

"More emphasis on the bondage and torture. Withholding orgasms, and then forcing them, things like that. Some whipping and such, but not real painful. Certainly nothing that would leave permanent marks or draw blood," He explained.

"That sounds a little scary. I don't enjoy pain, but I can stand some if that's what you want. The forced orgasms sound a little more intriguing though. I guess I won't say no as long as the pain isn't too great. For those scenarios we will have to come up with a safe word or phrase that I can say when it gets to be too much," I told him.

"I can live with that."

Joe was quiet for a minute so I asked, "Is that it?"

"Everything else is either a variation of what we've already done or what I just told you about," He replied.

We talked about it more in detail and he told me he just saw these new restrictions as additions to the original rules instead of a major rewrite of our agreement. In that case I agreed to continue being his submissive sex slave. We also agreed that "sassy bitch" would be the phrase I would use if I reached my pain limit during bondage and discipline games. It would have no other effect during different encounters though.

After that he asked me, "When was the last time you were fucked?"

"At the bachelor party," I answered.