A Deaf Cat Kills a Blind BatbySuperHeroRalph©
This is a Nude Day contest story. Please vote.
Oops. A naked woman unintentionally and accidentally celebrates Nude Day.
Having never celebrated National Nude Day before, I had no intention of celebrating National Nude Day today. It was all just an unfortunate accident that turned out for the better. To be honest, I didn't even know it was National Nude Day today or that there was even such a day as National Nude Day. A bit of a prude, never having been naked in public, I'm a privately modest person.
My perverted ex-husband said that I was sexually inhibited, when I refused to play his games of voyeurism and exhibitionism. He wanted me to wear a short skirt to the mall and flash the shoe store clerk my panties, when trying on boots, but I refused. Then, he wanted me to flash my tits to truckers on the highway and serve his drunken friends topless or naked at his weekly poker parties, but I denied him that perverse pleasure, too. Yet, now that I'm naked, when I think about how so many times I had refused to go to a nude beach with him, there I was standing outside my apartment door without a stitch of clothing.
To be honest, for the life of me, I don't know how it got inside my apartment, but somehow it did, nor do I know how long it's been there. Those things can hide, really hide. Maybe it flew inside when I opened the door to let myself in from work. They are really fast and so quiet that the Air Force, if they haven't already, should copy them and design stealth fighters in their image. It wasn't until several hours later, the next morning, that the bat made his appearance known and scared the living shit out of me. As if this thing was a vampire, never have I been as afraid.
I had just gotten out of the shower and was about to get dressed for work, when there he was flying low and in crazy patterns over my head. At first, catching it out of my peripheral vision, I thought I was seeing things. It was so fast that I thought it was just a shadow created from the light. Then, when he flew right at me and low, I knew it was a bat.
"Oh, my God! A bat! Get out! Go away," I screamed figuring her was trying to nest in my hair.
He flew as if he was drunk and, just at the last instant, when he was about to crash into me, he'd veer off in a different direction. Then I remembered that bats were blind. Always just at the last moment, his radar allowed it to avoid whatever he was surely going to hit.
"Eww gross." If mice aren't bad enough, this ugly thing is a furry mouse with wings. "Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!"
To say that I panicked was an understatement. I hate flying things, especially bugs, and this flying mammal was the biggest and the scariest thing I ever saw. Even though he was really so small, in my tiny apartment, he looked huge. Then, when I got a good look of his face and his hairy body, he was monstrous looking.
He appeared just as crazed and panicked as I was and my screams weren't helping either one of us to calm down and relax. He'd fly straight for my head, before turning away at the very last second. Thinking quick, hoping he'd fly out the way he came in, I flung open my front door and hid behind it. Only, when it was apparent that he wasn't leaving and flew right at me, again and again, not even thinking that I was naked, I left my apartment, but without my clothes.
The door slammed shut behind me. It wasn't until my door closed and locked that I realized that I was standing outside my apartment door naked. Naked, I was naked. If the experience of the bat wasn't scary enough, now outside in my hall, I was standing there naked.
"Oh, my God. This is so frigging embarrassing. Quickly I tried to think of which neighbor to bang on their door, but nearly all my neighbors were single men or married couples. There were a couple of single women upstairs, but I'd have to walk the length of the hall and up the stairs naked to get to their apartment, with the hope that they haven't left for work, yet.
"What am I going to do?"
Beside myself with fright, I was shaking. Then, I heard a door open and close further down the hall.
"Fuck! There's someone coming."
Trying to hide myself in my tiny door frame with my ass sticking out, when facing one way or my tits sticking out, when facing the other way, I looked to see who was coming and it was a man. As he neared closer, I recognized who it was. Jeff, a neighbor that I've seen in the lobby and in the elevator was walking towards me. He's an attractive man, a bachelor, and I was, perhaps, developing a friendship with him, while hoping for more, that is, until now. Totally embarrassed, now, I'm just mortified.
"Oh, my God. This is so embarrassing," I said under my breath, as he neared
Figuring it was better if he saw my ass rather than the rest of me, I turned to face my door. With my naked ass completely exposed, I didn't dare turn around. I couldn't look at him. I reverted to when I was a child thinking that if I didn't see him, he couldn't see me. Only, just as that didn't work then, it didn't work now either.
"Hello, Susan, how are you?" I could feel the heat of his stare on my naked body.
"Hi," I said still not turning around.
How am I? I'm frigging naked and so very frigging embarrassed, that's how I am. It was bad enough he had a full and uninterrupted view of my ass, I wasn't about to give him one of my tits and pussy, too.
"Did you lose weight?"
"Did you get a new hairstyle?"
"There's something different about you," he said with a chuckle.
"I'm fucking naked," I said feeling sick to my stomach.
"Oh, I didn't realize," he said with a laugh, "maybe that's it," he said laughing again.
"That's real funny, Jeff."
"Are you going to the Nude Day event," he said pausing, while waiting for my reply.
Huh? Nude Day event? What's he talking about? What Nude Day event?
"No," I said.
At first, I thought he was kidding and making a joke about my nudity, but when I didn't answer him in the positive, he continued talking.
"I was just heading there myself. We could go together. I mean, I could give you a ride, since you're already dressed for the event," he said with a another laugh. "To be honest, having never participated in a National Nude Day event, I'm a little shy and I didn't want to strip off my clothes, until I got to the beach."
"Actually," I said into the door. "I'm not attending the Nude Day event."
"Oh," he said still standing there, no doubt waiting for an explanation, while staring at my ass, no doubt. I couldn't bear the embarrassment to even turn my head to look at him. With a long pause in our conversation, feeling him staring at my naked ass, he spoke finally. "Then, why are you naked?"
"I, um, locked myself out of my apartment," I said turning my head, but not my body, in his direction.
"I see," he said. And then there was that long, silent, uncomfortable pause again, that I could just feel him staring at every part of my naked body. "I can get the manager to open your door, if you'd like."
"Yes, thank you, even though that would be terribly embarrassing for John to see me naked, too, but I don't have very many options, do I?"
"Maybe he'll entrust me with your key and won't have to come up to see you naked," he said being the gentleman that he is.
"That would be good," I said knowing that the manager, once Jeff told him, who always leered at me, while undressing me with his eyes, that I was naked, would surely want to come up for a closer and, no doubt, lingering look.
"If you don't mind me asking, Susan, how did you lock yourself out?"
"A bat. There's a bat in my apartment. I don't know how it got in and I really don't care, but--"
"There are bats around here," he said. "I've seen them, when walking my dog late at night. How he got in your apartment is a mystery. They generally avoid people."
"It figures that the one bat that got in the building would pick my apartment to roost," I said talking to my door. "Can you just go and get the manager please, Jeff, so that I can go inside my apartment and kill myself."
"Yes, of course. I'll see about that key, before anyone else comes along. Here," he said. "Take my shirt. Maybe he'll just give me the key without having to come up to spare you further embarrassment."
"Thank you, but I think when you tell John that I'm standing in the hall naked, he'll want to come see me for himself, too. He's always leering at me, while undressing me with his eyes. He wouldn't miss seeing me like this for the world," I said wrapping material around me tighter and quickly covering most of my nakedness with his shirt.
Jeff left and it was a few, very long minutes before he returned. In the meantime, several of my neighbors emerged from their apartments. The women said some derogatory stuff under their breath to their husbands, but the men all stopped to offer their assistance and one neighbor, old Mr. Crenshaw, actually pawed and groped my naked ass through Jeff's shirt, before trying to fondle my breast and insert a wrinkled old finger in my pussy.
"Eww. Get lost! Beat it, before I call the cops! Frigging pervert!"
"Hey, girlie," he said, "you asked for trouble being in the hall naked."
"Beat it, asshole!"
While standing there waiting for Jeff and the manager to return with the key, I remembered Helen, my cat. My friends call her Helen Keller because she's deaf and I always defend her telling them that she's not deaf and blind, just deaf. I love my kitty, hardly a kitty anymore, at 12-years-old, but having had her since birth, she'll always be my kitten.
She's in there, the poor thing, with the bat. Just as I thought that, I remembered that bats have rabies. What if the bat bites Helen? Oh, my God. What if Helen turns into a deranged, wild animal and attacks me? Thinking of the bat, as if it was a vampire bat, rabies don't happen that fast. Do they?
Then, I heard John and Jeff coming down the hall. Jeff was laughing and John was leering. Even though I was wearing Jeff's shirt, I couldn't look at John, the manager. I was so embarrassed. Hiding my face again, with the thought that if I couldn't see him, he couldn't see me, I stopped short before dashing in my apartment, when John opened my door.
"There you go," said John unlocking my door.
"Wait," I said. "There's a bat in my apartment."
"Yeah, so?" John looked at me, as if I was crazy. "What do you want me to do about that? Call an exterminator. I fix sinks, faucets, toilets, air conditioners, and furnaces, but just as I don't do windows, I don't do bats. Sorry, but I don't do bats," he said again, but this time with a loud laugh, as if he was having a personal joke.
It was then that I wondered if he had put that bat in my apartment with the hope of coming to my naked rescue. Nah, what are the odds of that? He wouldn't do that, would he?
"Well, I'm not going in there with that flying rabies rat in there," I said stepping away from the door.
"Suit yourself," he said, but bats freak me out in the way of that movie, The Birds by Alfred Hitchcock. Nope, I don't do bats," he said again. "You're on your own, Susan. Good luck to you," he said with another loud laugh.
"Okay, okay, I get it," I said. "You don't do bats. Can you at least call an exterminator for me?"
"I can do that," said John walking away with a wave of his hand.
"Hold off on the exterminator, John," said Jeff. "Why don't you let me take care of the bat for you. I'm pretty handy with a broom," said Jeff to me, before going to the maintenance closet and returning with a broom and a small shovel.
"Okay, sure, but be careful Jeff. Don't let him get close enough to bite you. Bats have rabies," I said in a panicked voice.
Jeff opened my apartment door just wide enough to squeeze himself inside and closed the door behind him.
I listened at the door for banging or swatting or whatever the hell else he was doing with the broom and shovel, but he opened the door almost immediately with the dead bat resting on the end of the shovel.
"Eww," I said staring at the dead bat, before stepping away. "What happened? How did you kill it so fast?"
"Laying on its back on the carpet, it was already dead. I think Helen took care of the bat for you," he said with a laugh. "It took a deaf cat to take care of a blind bat."
Surely, not love at first sight, but I attended the Nude Day event with Jeff. Tit for tat. I figured since he already saw me naked, I'd ogle his naked body, too. We've been together ever since.
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