A Dominant's Diary

Introduction:

This is no fantasy. There is no wishful thinking. This is my journal as it pertains to my relationships with various women, women who submit to me sexually and whom I dominate for my pleasure. My intention is to tell it like it is. Some may find it disturbing. I hope you find it interesting, educational, and if you are a woman, I hope it makes you wet.

I dominate women sexually. I don't really care to dominate in any other way. I am not really a sadist, but I do enjoy making a woman perform for me. Sometimes that involves pain or discipline. Like most learning processes it can be uncomfortable at first, but they come to understand that the momentary discomfort is the price ones pays for the coming bliss. I am neither rich nor powerful, at least not in the usual terms. However, since my teens I have possessed a power over the opposite sex that even I have difficulty explaining. I think it is a combination of sensitivity and masculinity. Almost every woman I have been with has told me that they had this intuitive sense that I could satisfy them sexually. I first discovered it as a teenager when a twenty one year old college student was babysitting the kids next door struck up a conversation and in only a few moments she was asking me to let her suck my cock. (That is right. I didn't ask her she asked me.) Later, I was seduced by a much older thirty something divorcee. She taught me the ropes quite literally. With her I learned about the real meaning of sexual dominance and submission.

I have been married twice. The first wife got religion and we divorced. The second died young after only three years of marriage. I have been single ten years now and don't expect to marry again. I do exploit my abilities, however, at every suitable opportunity. Some experience are quite extreme, other rather tame. That is enough about me. You'll discover more as you read.

I thought about creating a blog, but I decided to keep everyone anonymous for obvious reasons. However, as an interesting twist I will let some of the women right their own commentaries about what we do and how they felt about it. I am a big believer in one being honest with themselves and with others. I think it is important that you maintain self-awareness about these things.

Sometimes it will be more intense than others. That just the way life is.

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Oct 24:

Cat called today. She is a model. I shot some nudes of her about six years ago. She is going to be in the Ms. Louisiana Pageant and she needed some headshots. I never tried to fuck Cat. I probably could have back then. I guess I was too professional, plus she had a husband who looked like he could be bad news if he wanted to. I could get plenty of pussy without having to stealing it from some guy anyway. Even though it has been quite some time since I photographed her I still see her from time to time. She lives about an hour away, but when she is in town she always calls. Heck, she calls sometimes no matter where she is just to talk. It never seemed like we had much chemistry and even though she is hot to look at I always had trouble getting her to look the way I wanted on film. She didn't take direction too well and she didn't like to hold a pose. Don't get me wrong, I liked her and she was definitely fuckable, but it just didn't seem to be worth the trouble to play with a married woman. I never took her seriously. Usually, you can't take models seriously

She said she was in town and wanted to look at some of the old stuff I had shot of her and maybe some stuff of other women about her age. Cat is thirty-two now. I told her to come on by since it was a slow day for me. It was a hot day. She drove up in her Miata, the top down, sunglasses, her long blonde hair in a ponytail. She was tan, wearing an orange tank top, no bra, her nipples outlined plainly in the thin material. When she got out I could see she was wearing some short white denim shorts and white tennis shoes. I couldn't help but wonder where else in town she would be going on business dressed like that. As she walked up the sidewalk she was smiling when she saw me at the door. Her shorts were so tight she had a camel toe. I knew Cat just liked to dress like that. Most models are exhibitionist. I never really thought she was doing it for me. Cat is only about five feet tall, but well proportioned. In photographs it is easy to make her look taller. Her tits are fake, but they did a really nice job. She was really tanned too. She and her husband live in a rural area and she comes across as the wholesome, but sexy, country girl.

I invited her in and we went back to the studio. I made some coffee and we made some small talk. She kept asking about my love life, if I was dating and whom I was dating. I never like to talk about other women when I am with a woman. She told me that her husband's drinking was getting worse, but she didn't seem too anxious. I knew her father was kind of a drunk. That is when I saw a red flag go up. Women who complain about their husbands are easy. They are practically asking you to fuck them. I led her over to the light table where I had slides of her spread out for her to examine.

She began to flatter me. Telling me how I was the best photographer she ever worked with, how I made her look so good, and how I never made her feel uncomfortable when I took nudes of her. Trust me, Cat never had a modest day in her life. She would shuck off her clothes in a minute right on the studio floor, check her makeup and she was ready. I went to get some more coffee and as I returned I couldn't help but notice how Cat had made sure I got a good look at her legs and ass as she leaned over the light table looking at the slides. Cat liked you to look at her; maybe it was a power thing. You know, make'em want it but don't give it to'em. That is when I made my mind up. She needed fucking. I figured she would say no if I made a move and protest all the while letting me have my way. It would be her way of being in control. I didn't want it like that. I wanted to make her beg. I didn't want her to have an out.

"Tell me about this pageant."

"Well, I kind of got roped in. A former winner of the Mrs. Louisiana pageant talked me into it. She said she would coach me. I told her I had done some modeling and done some stuff for Hawaiian Tropic, but had never been in a pageant. I just thought it might be fun. She told me I would need some recent headshots. Of course I thought of you first."

"Sure," I told her. "Do you want to do it today?"

"Gee, could we?"

"Sure Cat. You know I love to photograph you. I always have. We have done a lot of good stuff together." I could flatter her right back. "Just look at this photo, the one of you bare assed on the seat of my old Harley, wearing nothing but a black bikini top. It doesn't show anything, but everyone knows you are naked from the waist down. And look at this one. I love the way your pussy peaks out from behind when you bend over."

"Okay, okay, so maybe that one is a little too explicit. I have gotten too old for that sort of thing. Besides, I don't think the judges are looking for anything like that.

I smiled and said, "You know these pictures could get you into trouble if you won," I said as though I was joking.

"Yeah, right, you're too sweet a fellow for that."

"Not really."

Cat didn't say a word.

"Why don't we take some pictures Cat, right now."

"Okay," she sounded relieved that the subject had changed.

"Take off your clothes."

"Now you know that isn't what I need."

"You need something Cat and I am not talking about pictures. Be a good girl and take them off."

"Why are to being this way? You have never acted like this before."

She began to unbutton her shorts.

"Don't worry I have something in mind. You know how creative I can be."

Now I have to tell you about women like Cat. They probably want you to fuck them, but they don't want to take responsibility for it. They need a forceful guy, so they don't have to blame themselves. Just to talk to Cat you would never think she had a submissive bone in her body, and she would never admit it. She was always friendly but professional. I would have to not only be forceful in fucking her, but forceful in breaking her down and making her admit her desires. But you have to be careful too. You can't just barrel over her, at least not at first. You have to take what she gives you, read her signals. I knew she would give me an opening. I just had to see it. Once I had control, I would use it.

She pulled her shorts down and they pulled her thong down as well. When she saw it she pulled her thong back up.

"No, you might as well take that off too, take everything off."

She did as she was told and then pulled her top off over her head. Her nipples were hard. Her breast looked much better now, more natural, more bouncy Once nude she said, " I need to check myself in the mirror," and she trotted off to the dressing room. There is no door on the dressing room. I was getting my camera ready and I heard her call out. "You know I trust you. No other photographer has ever made me look so good and you are so easy to work with. The best stuff I have ever done was with you."

I was almost beginning to feel guilty. She came out of the dressing room naked and barefooted.

"Okay what do I do."'

"Follow me. We are going to the house. I want to do some available light stuff, location work. You know some sexy Playboy style stuff." I led her to the guest bedroom. There are two big windows on one side of the wall that would let a bunch of light in and a large king size platform bed there as well. She knew to get on the bed. She knew where the light was coming from she automatically struck a few poses. Nothing to explicit. No spread shots or nothing like that. Cat was a pro after all and I knew she like to see herself in these kinds of photos. Besides, she probably felt like it was her favor to me for the headshots she would need. After I took a few shots I turned on some music, Nine Inch Nails. I knew she liked Trent Reznor's stuff. Her husband, who used to be in a band, couldn't stand him.

"Okay, now Cat I want you to get up on your knees and move like you are dancing to the music. Don't worry about poses. I am going to shoot a bunch of stuff as you move."

I knew this would work for Cat. She wasn't good at static poses; she had to be moving from one thing to another. That wasn't good if you are doing glamour photography because the lighting is critical, but photography wasn't so much what I had in mind. Beside the light in the room was soft and would let me shoot pretty much anything I wanted.

Cat was getting into it. Trust me; she must have forgotten that I was taking pictures because some of her moves were pretty nasty. I kind of figured she did some stripping in her younger days. She had the moves and like I said her husband used to be in a band. She tried to come off as some soccer mom these days. I shot off about fifty images before the music ended. Cat was breathing hard and a slight film of perspiration was making her skin shine.

"You're sweating Cat. Let me get a towel."

I got a towel and began to wipe her off from behind. She seemed indifferent not at all excited, but that was Cat's way. She would never let on.

"We got some good stuff. Maybe not what some pageant judges expect to see, but it was pretty damned hot if you asked me."

"You know, I don't always know what you have in mind, but it always makes me look good. You know I trust you."

I began to wipe her ass and between her legs. She turned around quickly and faced me. I expected her to protest. I reached between her thighs and wiped her legs there, looking straight into her eyes. She looked angry, like she was about to scold me. Then she grabbed my wrist. I let the towel slip from my hand and put my hand on her pussy. The pressure of my hand instantly caused the juices from her cunt to escape onto my fingers.

Her hand squeezed my wrist harder, "Listen, that isn't...."

I didn't let her say another word. Instead I pushed my middle finger easily inside her hooking it so that it would hit her G-spot. She gasped and closed her eyes. I pulled her close to me with my other hand in the small of her back mashing her tits against me, not letting up on her g-spot. I could feel her legs weaken. She tried to push me away and I only held her tighter, making sure she understood I wasn't letting her go. Her hips began to buck, she was giving in. Pretty soon she began to cum. I had her now. She began to breath really hard and opened her eyes only to find me staring back into hers.

" I wasn't expecting that. What did you do? That has never happened to me before."

"Oh, I'll bet you have cum a bunch of times before."

"Not like that, not that quick." She was out of breath. "I can't believe I let you do that."

"You didn't let me. I just did it."

She kind of grinned. I let her go and began to unbutton my jeans, kick of my shoes and undress. I don't usually wear underwear in hot weather and I noticed Cat was not saying anything now. She was just staring at me, which is unusual for Cat. At least I had her interest now. I was naked now. She was just looking at me or more specifically, my cock. She knew what was coming.

"Do you want to leave?" I asked her.

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not really."

I took her by the shoulder and tried to kiss her. She kissed me reluctantly and without any enthusiasm.

"Okay have it your way."

I spun her around and pushed her down on the bed on her stomach and straddled her legs. I pushed her arms over her head and held them there with one hand and reached between her legs with the other. Roughly, I took hold of her pussy lips, squeezing them, pulling them. I could feel her stiff clit between the juicy lips and worked it making her squirm.

"Why don't you just fuck me? That is what you want isn't it," Cat snapped at me.

"Easy Cat. I want you to enjoy this too." Then I pushed two fingers into her. She grunted. "Now doesn't that feel good? Your pussy seems to like it. It is awfully wet."

She didn't say a thing she just waited for the inevitable. Still holding her down with one hand I took my cock in the other and guided between the cheeks of her ass, dipping the head of my cock in her wet pussy and smearing the juices up and down from clit to asshole. When I had her good and wet I pushed into her cunt and began to fuck her. She looked good like this laying on her stomach, me on top of her petite body, my cock disappearing into her pussy. I let go of her hands and took hold of her hips and began to fuck her faster and harder.

Now I have to say that unlike most people into BDSM, I am really into straight fucking. It feels good, I can do it a long time and most women appreciate a guy who can do it in such a way it makes her cum and cum often. Any woman I play with has to expect to be fucked often and well if she is with me. I let them know the have nothing to fear. (I am healthy and have a vasectomy.) When I am through fucking a woman she usually has cum as much as her body will let her and she is good and sore too. It leaves them with something to think about after they are alone.

Cat didn't seem to be responding now. She seemed content to let me fuck her, cum, and then let her go. I flipped her on her back and guided my cock back into her pussy. I took hold her tits and squeezed the hard, working to her nipples and pulling them as I fucked her.

"That hurts."

"Yes, it does."

"Why are you treating me like this?"

"Because I want to, because you excite me," I said as I pushed my dick slow and hard deep inside her, the head of my cock rubbing on her g-spot. Her hips responded, pushing back against me. She gritted her teeth. I was getting an effect, "... and because you like it."

She hissed, her body stiffened and she began to buck her hips against mine. She could not deny that she wanted it now. I held still and she locked her ankle around my legs and began to fuck my cock. She went faster and faster until she shuddered and came with a gasp. I began to stroke her again. It was my turn. I slammed into her hard and deep. I could feel her cervix on the tip of my dick. I love that feeling and soon I spewed my own cum into her letting out a deep growl at the release I felt. I was sweating and out of breath.

I got off of her put my jeans on. She rose up on her elbows and looked me.

"What are you looking at?"

"You, you are a very beautiful man. I have always thought so. I never thought of you like this though. I never thought you were the kind of man who would do this to me though."

"Listen to me Cat. In a few days you are going to want this again. I want you to come to me when you do. You'll feel guilty, maybe you feel guilty now, but you'll want this again. You do as I say, you hear."

"Pretty sure of yourself aren't you."

"Yep. I think it is time to make you a part of my world."

Cat got up and dressed, we made small talk, and she hugged me bye, just like always, just like nothing happened. I looked forward to hearing from her again.

It wasn't the best sex I ever had, but she had promise and it was nice to get past all the superficial stuff. Like most petite women she could really snap her ass when she fucked and she had a nice tight pussy. She was still not where I wanted her to be but I figured I would get there soon enough. I am a patient man.