A God Called Bruce Pt. 04

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There were assenting murmurs amongst the crowd. Evidently Ares had a number of supporters. I would have to be careful.

"Oh, shut up Ares. Everyone here knows that nature has bestowed you with a big mouth to compensate for your small dick. Don't advertise it." I lifted my fist and wiggled my little finger, the age old universal sign for a small dick.

For a moment there I thought Ares would explode. His face was flushed crimson and he shook with rage.

"If you weren't hiding behind my mother I would kill you right now," he screamed.

"Go on, Hera," I said, loud enough for everyone to hear. "Please don't interfere. This is my fight. It's about time someone taught this arrogant arsehole a lesson."

I put my arm around Hera's waist, turned my back on Ares and guided her to the edge of the performance area.

"I hope you know what you are doing," she whispered.

"Don't worry, whatever happens happens."

Once Hera was safely away I turned and yelled to Ares: "Alright Fuckwit, bring it on. Let's see if your balls are bigger than your cock." Again I made a fist and wiggled my little finger at him.

If Ares' face looked red before, it looked positively purple now. He stormed into what had evidently become an arena, a gladius in his hand, ready to run me through. Vulcan tossed me my quarterstaff. If Ares was fazed by my choice of weapon he didn't show it. A gladius, the short sword of the Romans, is a superb weapon if used in formation, in conjunction with a shield, or in close combat. In a duel it is a poor choice against a weapon with a longer reach, such as a quarterstaff. Should he agree to fight as a man I could take him perhaps without the Taser.

I waited until he was almost in striking range and teleported to the compound, knowing he could not follow me there. As arranged with Endora I teleported back to the opposite end of the arena.

"What kind of trickery is this?" he screamed.

"Perhaps I am not quite as helpless as you thought, Arsehole," I said, waving my little finger at him once more.

Ares stormed again and again. I disappeared and reappeared behind him each time he charged. Ares was getting unsettled. He could not understand why he couldn't follow me. After a couple more times he screamed in frustration: "Stand still you coward. Fight like a man."

"I will, if you will, Minidick," I yelled, again wiggling my little finger. "Fight me as a man and not as a God and I'll teach you the lesson of your life. Are your balls bigger than your dick? If they are, prove it, Dickhead."

"I can kill you as a God or as a man, you are nothing, human."

"Does that mean you will fight me without your God-powers."

"Yes," he screamed.

I had him. Vulcan had been right. Pandemonium broke loose. Everybody was screaming and yelling with excitement. This wasn't something they had expected.

"Stop!" The mighty voice of Zeus shook the rafters.

Deathly silence followed. Everyone froze. A white circle, about thirty feet in diameter, appeared on the floor.

"Alec, you go on this end, Ares you on this," Zeus was pointing at opposite sides of the circle. "Now, these are the rules of combat. Within this circle God powers do not work. You will fight man to man as you have agreed. Anyone stepping outside the circle during the fight automatically loses. You will fight naked with only one weapon of your choice. The fight will continue until there is only one of you left in the circle. Anyone trying to interfere will be instantly killed by me. Are you satisfied with the weapons you have or do you want to change?"

"The quarterstaff is fine," I said

"I'll keep my gladius," said Ares.

Zeus waved his hand and our clothes disappeared.

"Anything you want to say before we begin?"

I held my quarterstaff horizontally in front of me, bowed to Zeus and said in the manner of Roman gladiators: "Ave Zeus, morituri te salutant." (Hail Zeus, those who are about to die salute you.)

Ares just shook his head. The guy had no style.

"Then let the fight begin," declared Zeus.

I could see what Vulcan had meant when he said the guy was a murderer, not a warrior. Instead of cautiously testing my defences with a series of feints he tried to go straight for the kill. I could see it in his face before he lunged. Easily sidestepping his charge I delivered a blow to the back of his head as he went past me. As the staff was hitting in the direction of his movement it didn't land as hard as it would have done otherwise. Nevertheless, it was enough to rattle him and land him headlong on the floor.

I could have easily finished him there and then, but I stepped back and waited for him to get up. As he faced me I stuck my fist up, again wiggling my finger. Instead of being a lot more cautious now, his rage seemed to escalate, presumably because someone had had the audacity to actually hurt him. He came at me again like a crazed animal. Swiftly sidestepping him I delivered a heavy blow to his left leg. He was limping now, not a good thing for a sword fighter. I stood back and wiggled my finger.

"Come on, Tinydick," I said, loud enough for everyone to hear.

Again, this blind charge. This time I got his right leg.

When I stepped back and showed him the finger once more someone in the audience exclaimed: "I don't believe it. He's playing with him!"

Ares was on really wobbly legs now, time to call an end. I charged him with my quarterstaff, held like a spear, aimed at the pit of his stomach. With his legs so unsteady he could not sidestep, his only chance was to parry my charge with his sword. A fraction of a second before I came within his range I fired the first dart. His parry never came. Following through I buried the point into his body, firing the second dart just before impact. The gladius dropped from his hand and as he doubled over I landed a savage blow to the side of his head. Ares went down unconscious.

I bent over him as if to examine the injury to his stomach, retrieved the darts and what was left of the wires and hid them in the hollow end of my staff. I picked up his gladius and held it high. You could have heard a pin drop as they probably expected me to kill him now.

"By right of victory his life is mine to take," I shouted. "I will not do so. I have not come to Olympus to bring death. Let us hope he has learned a lesson."

I went to the edge of the circle and tossed the staff and the gladius to Vulcan who promptly made them vanish. Turning back, I picked up Ares and carried him in a fireman's grip to the edge of the circle. As he dropped down on the other side his God powers returned. He stood up and disappeared to lick his wounds elsewhere.

I went to the centre of the circle and said to Zeus: "It is over."

At that moment Eris charged into the circle, discarding her clothes as she ran.

"My darling, my lover," she yelled, "I knew you could do it. Take me, take me in front of them all and show them how much you love me."

She threw her arms around me and covered me with kisses, rubbing herself against my dick. With all the adrenaline still coursing through my veins, plus the fact I was busting for a piss, the old traitor came up like a Jack in the box.

It was then that I had a wicked thought. Time for lesson number two.

I grabbed her, threw her on the floor and turned her over. I spread her cheeks and rammed my dick right up her arse without lubrication. I had to pump a few times to get in deep enough. She never squealed or cried out in pain, though it must have hurt. The old girl had been cornholed before. When I was inside her up to the hilt I stopped and let it rip.

"Stop it...... Nooooo...... Not that...... Stop you bastard." Eris was screaming her tits off and tried to get away, but without her God powers she didn't stand a chance.

The party guests came up to the circle, craning their necks trying to see what I was doing to her that had her so upset. It wasn't until I pulled my dick out and a yellow geyser, speckled with brown lumps, issued forth from her violated hole that the penny dropped. I had pissed up her arse.

Eris tried to stem the flow by shoving her fingers up her still dilated hole but it was in vein. She did not dare to stand up and since she could not teleport she crawled on her stomach out of the circle leaving behind her a trail of piss and little lumps of shit.

By that time everybody was howling with laughter. Even grumpy old Hades was doubled over, tears streaming down his face. I just stood there, naked, with a smelly dick, not quite knowing what I was going to do next. It was then that Hermes stepped into the circle, still laughing. He put his arm around my shoulder and guided me out of the circle. The moment we were outside he teleported us to the bath house and shoved me into a shower.

"Go on, wash the shit off your dick," he said, still chuckling.

When I was clean and dry again he dressed me in an elaborately decorated chiton and fastened it with a fibula of outstanding beauty.

"I want you to keep these," he said.

"I can't accept this," I said. "The fibula alone is priceless. Rarely have I seen anything even remotely its equal."

"I know," he said, "Vulcan made it for me a very long time ago. There is none better. I want you to have it. You have given me a priceless memory today, one I will cherish forever. It is a fitting exchange and will remind you that you have a friend, whenever you wear it. You have made some enemies today, but, by the Gods, you have made a lot of friends. And now let us rejoin the party."

Before I could thank him for his generous gifts he had whisked us back and disappeared. I wound up in front of Zeus.

"I want to thank you my boy," he said. "You did well today. He would have killed you, you know."

"I know, but I could not kill the son of Zeus and Hera. It wouldn't have been right, regardless of how he would have acted, given a chance."

"I see Hermes favours you. The fibula you are wearing was one of his most prized possessions."

"I feel awkward wearing it and this chiton. Seeing that you guys are so particular as to who is entitled to wear what, it seems well out of line."

"Everyone who sees this will know it was a gift from Hermes. No one will question your right to wear it. Be happy. It looks great on you. It will get you lots of pussy."

"Just what I need, more pussy," I groaned. "Excuse me Zeus, I need a drink, I have had only fruit juice and water all day. I wasn't going to go into battle half pissed."

Zeus laughed. I went over to one of the bars and got myself a beer. It went down well. I had only taken a couple of mouthfuls when I got mobbed. Gods wanted to shake my hand, Goddesses wanted to kiss me. I was glad when Hera rescued me and marched me up to her bedroom.

We were hardly behind closed doors when she was all over me like a rash, laughing, crying, kissing me as though there were no tomorrows, hanging on me like a woman about to drown.

"Oh Darling - I was so afraid - I thought I'd lost you," she said in between sobs.

When she finally calmed down I got my first proper beer for the day. The price of fame, I guess.

I spent the night with Hera. I had never seen her so loving and affectionate. Maybe Marge was right about her. It was nice.

Chapter 35: Back to the grindstone

Hera wasn't all that pleased when I announced I was going back to work but she let me go without drama. I ported to the compound and from there to our new home. For some reason I felt uneasy, though I could not say why. There seemed to be no cause.

The gang, as usual, was assembled in Bruce's new backyard. They all stared at me when they saw me in Hermes' chiton. Vulcan looked at the fibula and grinned.

"Hermes must really like you if he gave you this," he said. "I made it for him a long time ago, it has always been his pride and joy."

"You are not going to work in this, are you?" said Marge. The next instant I was sitting there in my usual gear. "The fancy stuff is in your cabin."

"Thanks Marge, this is more comfortable. So, what is everybody doing today?"

"Vulcan and I are having lunch in England," said Marge," Kia will meet us there, though she will have to stay invisible."

"Iaso and I are programming the machines for humans," said Panacea.

"Darrin and I are digging up the construction plans for the section where the village is to go so we can make room without weakening the structure." Gadeirus added.

They all left to do their thing. Bruce was doing something in the house, there was only myself and Algenon left.

"I am working with Endora to override the mechanism that keeps scrambling the dates so we can have a sequential time line," he said, "I am also trying to find the records of the Ancient's civilisation."

"I thought Endora said they were all wiped."

"Yes, but I think they are still there, the ancients have just made them inaccessible to Endora, so, as far as she is concerned, they no longer exist."

"Do you have any proof that might be so?"

"Yes, sort of. We know the capacity of the machine. Endora can check that with great precision. We also know how much spare capacity there is for future data and how much space is used up by accessible data. You with me so far?"

"Yes, go on."

"Well, if you add the volume of the available data to the volume of the blank area it should equal capacity. The point is, it doesn't. According to my calculations there is an area ten times that of the known stored data, that seemingly does nothing. That doesn't make sense. If the data had been wiped, that area should now be vacant and available for use. It is not, that much I know."

"I think you've got something there, keep going. Do you need any help?"

"It would be nice to have a couple of real software pros around."

"Do you know any that would be interested in working here?"

"Yes, I do."

"On Olympus?"

"No, on Earth."

"How come?"

"I studied computer science at MIT in the States. I met them there."

"Do you think they would come here, or even more importantly, would they fit in?"

"Let me tell you something about them. Their names are Geoff and Walter. Geoff is English, Walter German. They only lived for two things, computers and pussy. Apart from that, they drink, smoke and like good food. They had been fucking the same whore for some time when they found out she had AIDS. To their dismay they were found to be HIV positive when they had themselves checked out. They have both developed fully blown AIDS since then and are being kept alive by drugs with dreadful side effects.

"I know what Iaso and Panacea are doing. These guys would jump at the chance to work here and get cured. This place would be absolute paradise for them, especially after Marge gets the barmaids over."

"Are you still in touch with them?"

"Sure, I saw them only last week to discuss a problem I had."

"Can you convince them to come here? Would they believe you?"

"Not a chance."

"Then how would you get them to come?"

"Teleport them and explain afterwards. When they see we aren't bullshitting they will be in, I guarantee it. They are scientists. Their curiosity will overcome their fear."

"Thanks Algenon, let me think about this for a little while, I'll see you later."

Algenon went back to his work. I went inside and had a beer with Bruce. A short time later Panacea turned up looking for me.

"You are needed in the medical unit Alec," she said.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked when we arrived there.

"Take your clothes off and lie down on this bench. Endora needs to scan your body. It won't take long."

"What for? There is nothing wrong with me."

"That's just it. We have fed all the anatomical data and so forth into the machine, now Endora needs to have a look at a healthy living specimen of the human race to calibrate the machine. Since you are the only human around here, you are it."

"You didn't need to do this shit before."

"Oh yes, we did. Iaso volunteered the last time. But she can't do it now for obvious reasons. Go on, do it, it won't hurt."

Reluctantly I lay down while Edora did whatever. After about half an hour Panacea declared the procedure was completed. I hadn't felt a thing.

"All done. You can bring your patients in from now on. Everything is ready."

I breathed a sigh of relief. The feeling of uneasiness had not left me all day. Now I knew what it was. I had the strong impression my old professor was in trouble. I told Panacea and Iaso to stay in the medical unit and rushed to get Bruce. Marge had just returned so I grabbed her too.

"Marge, quickly, hex a suit onto Bruce and me and a decent dress onto yourself."

Marge did as she was bid.

"Come on, give me your hands and let's go."

"Where are we going?"

"Hopefully to save someone's life."

I teleported us right outside his flat. Betty, Frank's wife came to the door when I knocked. She was crying.

"He is dying," she sobbed.

"Not if I can help it," I said. "Where is he?"

Betty took us to the bedroom. Frank was only semi conscious, his breathing was laboured.

"Marge, Bruce, take the old man, I will take Betty. To the medical unit, quickly."

I grabbed hold of Betty and we ported.

Marge and Bruce put the old man on a stretcher, hexed his clothing off and slid him into the machine. Panacea operated the panel.

"What are you doing? Where are we? What is going on?" Betty was panicking.

"We are trying to save Frank's life, Betty," I said. "You must trust me now like you have never trusted anyone in your life. Hopefully we are not too late."

"He's not too far gone," said Panacea, "I think he'll be alright."

The next half hour was murder as the machine gathered data. The actual transformation would happen in an instant. Then the purple light went out and the yellow light came on.

"He is fine," Panacea announced. "Complete success."

"Betty, listen to me," I shook her shoulder. "Frank is cured. Not only is the cancer gone, but his body will be how it was when he was in his mid thirties. Prepare yourself for a shock."

Panacea wheeled the stretcher out of the machine. Betty took one look and burst into tears. "Frank, oh Frank," she cried. Frank looked at her and smiled, then closed his eyes and went to sleep. All the lesions had gone, his muscular body a picture of health."

"He will need to sleep now. In a few hours you can talk to him," Panacea said gently to Betty.

"Now it's your turn Betty," I said.

"What for? I am not dying."

"No," I said, "the machine will fix anything that is wrong and restore your health. Besides, you don't want to be an old woman when Frank wakes up. I will go now while you get undressed and the girls will look after you."

"I want you to stay with me," she said.

"But you'll be naked, Betty. "It's necessary."

"What is there to see on an old woman except ruin."

"But you won't be an old woman when the process is finished. There will be plenty to see then."

"Enjoy the view," she said tartly and kissed me on the cheek.

I talked about old times while she lay still and the machine went through its paces. Then the light changed to yellow. It was done.

"The view any good?" she asked when she was wheeled out of the machine.

"Absolutely delicious," I said, bent forward and kissed her breast.

"Lecher," she said and fell asleep.

I went for something to eat at Bruce's. Panacea had already told them that the rescue had been a success and that the patients were recovering. They wanted to know more about Frank and Betty. I told them since everyone needed to know I would brief them all together at the next gathering.

"They are good people, they'll fit in well into our little community."

"You want to keep them here?" Marge was curious.

"Yes I do, if they want to stay. There is nothing left for them on Earth. How would they explain their renewed youth for starters? I think they will want to stay once they realise the implications."