A How-To Guide for the Aging Male

"Look, here's a card for the manager of a rental place that's not five minutes from you; I'm going to write on the back exactly what you need to ask for. He's a real decent guy to deal with. They'll load the unit in the SUV for you. Secondly, Jone's delivers in your area for a flat fifty bucks and it's well worth it; they'll even wheel then around to where you need them. You really don't want to try to get them into the back of an SUV. You need to call this number to have them mark the utilities; it's free and they usually come out within twenty four hours."

"Look, Megan, here's my home number and my cell. I'd be glad to help you operate the digger and get the shrubs off to a healthy start. Why don't you get everything set up, get the plants delivered, check on when the digger is available and give me a call and I'll see if I can break free to come over and help you. No, I couldn't accept any sort of payment; I enjoy landscaping projects; I'm not in the business but enjoy helping my friends. Why don't you give me your number and I'll check my schedule when I get home and see when I'm free? Great! It was great to meet you, I need to run."

Are you always going to get laid? Of course not! But you'll spend a few hours with an attractive young woman and you'll make a new friend. You may discover that you really like her husband you have the young couple over for dinner and you just become good friends. That's fine too.

So, you've met her, become friends, there's no chance of being disturbed by kids or husbands, she's gotten comfortable with you, maybe even a hug and a peck on the cheek once or twice and today the buy signs say she is beginning to view you as someone she might like to get naked with. It always starts with a kiss. If you don't like kissing or you're not very good at it, I can't help you.

Make the kiss last. Do not go immediately for her luscious little tits or heaven forbid, her pussy. If she doesn't break away in revulsion after the first kiss, remember those teen aged years when all you ever did was make out---and it was damned exciting. Unless she unzips your fly and starts blowing you, asks you if you're into anal or just says, fuck me, be prepared to walk away from it, albeit after an increasingly heated make out session.

If the two of you made out for more than five minutes and mutually enjoyed it, then the chances are excellent that she will fuck you. Treat her with tenderness; become the master of the slow burn and then have the balls to, nicely, gently, find a reason not to bend her over the sofa arm and fuck her brains out...this time.

Absolutely do not go one step beyond a little through the clothes cock and cunt fondling. Find that excuse to walk away which says I absolutely find you attractive, but my house is on fire, or whatever. Then invite her to your turf---lunch, dinner, to look at your etchings---and leave no doubt in your mind or hers that you two are going to get it on.

Romance...make her feel like the most special woman in the world. Most women like cock but all women love romance, tenderness and lots of foreplay. By this stage, when lunch, dinner or the etching viewing is over, you're going to fuck. More kissing and more making out. Then for God's sake, don't push her head down into your crotch but go down on her and make her cum with your talented mouth not once but twice. Lot's of snuggle and cuddle to follow. Maybe a quick trip to the bathroom for the Cialis. Hopefully she will want to reciprocate and blow you. Fine! Don't hold back, don't wear out her pretty little mouth. If you cum in her mouth, kiss her, deeply, meaningfully and romantically. If she decides to jerk you off all over her tits or cunt, well that's fun too.

By this time, you're both pretty pleased at how things have progressed. Thanks to the Cialis and your healthy life style, you'll be hard in under thirty minutes, usually less. That first time, make love to the damned woman, face to face, nice and slow, lots of attention to the rest of her body and use the one thing that 99% of all older men have to make up for the fact that they don't always get it up as quick or as often---staying power. Fuck her for a long time and if she doesn't cum again, go down on her after you cum and get her off one more time. Check out her bedside table and offer to use the vibrator she has there on her.

From here on out, you're on your own. If you ever want to fuck her again, keep treating her like a friend, not some little slut. Find opportunities to do things with her or for her that don't always end with a roll in the hay. Be that special friend who also happens to be a man that she enjoys going to bed with. A little gift, not roses, candy or Victoria Secret, but maybe that set of Felco pruners that she covets. Good friend first, great fuck second. Never forget it.

I have one final and extremely important caution. Watch out for falling in love---in either direction. I had a nasty incident with a twenty-eight year old---I was fifty-five---who wanted to divorce her husband and...well, fortunately I talked her down off of that ledge.

Now, if you're fifty-seven and she is forty and you find that in addition to being great in bed together, you genuinely like each other, she doesn't want to have kids, has her own job, well, hell, go for it. If it works out for you, and you end up getting hitched, you'll still have the honor of fucking an attractive woman young enough to be your daughter every day until you can't get it up anymore or become senile and you won't have to waste all that time at the garden center.